Brandon & I broke up. Back in December some time. Shrug. No, I don't have anything to say about it at the moment. He's a douche ( Read more... )

Oh me.. He is giving me a better life. I  hope that he will allow me to give him a better life as well. So far - I have made a great friend - Bailey. I never would have known how special of a friendship we could have had without this experience. So I must be thankful for that, if nothing else. I do miss my love and my family and my life with my ( Read more... )

I'm on a downward spiral - I'm a fucking slippery slope. How is it not suicide to live like this. Do I have hope? Tucked somewhere deep.. I'm getting mixed signals. Sometimes I think he may want to end this. Other times he says this will be good for us - for us as individuals, as a couple, maybe both? I cannot lose him.. There's nothing I can do ( Read more... )

I am writing at 7:00 in the morning ( Read more... )

When I am angry with Brandon is when I wish the most that I had a close girl friend to talk to :(

Pieces of Never Let Me Go that I just love..

Page 6: "If I drive past one I keep looking over to it for as long as possible, and one day I'll crash the car like that, but I keep doing it."

Page 18: "When you lift an arm, or when someone sits up in bed, you can feel this pale, shadowy movement all around you in the tiles."

 I am on the mend ( Read more... )

Mistakes - what it takes to get you There

Can I push them aside swat them away shove them out of existence
Without having to claim selfishness..
Can't I hope? dream? love the insides of those in hiding?
How to lure without manipulating I am not quite sure..
Exposing my line of sight can be a dangerous adventure..
An immediate path to a desire impossible ( Read more... )

I guess it's like this.. Keep your distance. I will betray you. If you can handle that - I will love.

Megan & I sat at the table and talked for like, an hour today - it was fun. We talked about Brandon & Ryckie and how we're all such opposites, yet all so similar. I like having her around. It's a nice break from all the boys. I wish we could be better friends, but I think I put a reallllly tall wall between myself and others. Oh well. I'm just.. ( Read more... )