Reading this is almost a surreal experience. Something I started writing in over 7 years ago, wrote my troubled thoughts in for years. and yet, as I read through It I find myself disappointed at how superficially I saw things. maybe it's just a maturity that comes with age, and the ability to look at things more objectively and with more depth and ( Read more... )

I wrote this in september 2007.

What I want in a Boy

• lets his hand linger on my arm when he hugs me
• runs his fingers through my hair.
• kisses me on the top of the head (and on the nose)
• catches me staring at him (and gets caught staring)
• winks at me

WOAH…. 2 AMBIEN, SOUTH PARK… AND ALL THE WENDY, DOROTHY, AND ALICE SEX I ABSORBED EARLIER.

Mad at the two in the other room. The screen is bending,   and so is the keyboard;

It[s[ rocking so the way to gert around it is to rock right al0ong with it. So we don’t get seasick.

I am mad at Kellen because we sleep together in bed it’s my ( Read more... )

    I hate my life.

I 'm romantically, and socially retarded.

I just want to crawl into a closet and die.

Dear Matt,

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Do you think you’re a fucking Brad Pitt heartthrob? That everybody fuckin loooves you?

God, you are such a fucking prick.

I’ve never done shit to you other than be your friend, and stand by you even when you didn’t deserve it. I’ve given you a million chances. But not this time.

There is ( Read more... )

I just don't get it.

I didn't do anything to you...

I didn't want anything from you....

So why?

Why am I disposable? Why am I not worthy of your attention?

I hear from all sides "he's such a great guy, give him a chance."
    you can be.... a really great guy. You really can. You are, to them.... to her. But to me... you've never treated ( Read more... )

Written anything in here for awhile ( Read more... )

HOW TO  BE ME, SEEING THE PICTURES OF MYSELF AT THE WEDDING IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

*forget to breathe*

*swallow*

*feel your eyes well up*

*shake*

*take a sharp breath in*

*swallow again*

*close your eyes*

*look up to keep from crying in public*

*feel like you want to barf, cry, scream, and die all at the same time.*

I don't even know how to react.

I can't ( Read more... )

Ob-la-di- Ob-la-da

Life goes on.

• lets his hand linger on my arm when he hugs me
• runs his fingers through my hair.
• kisses me on the top of the head (and on the nose)
• catches me staring at him (and gets caught staring)
• winks at me