I am extremely fanatically jealous of Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley...hell, I'm even jealous of Neville Longbottom. It's not fair that they get the ability to do magic and I don't. Actually, it's more than just not fair. It's some serious fucking bullshit ( Read more... )

To begin this amazing post, I give my acknowledgements to my partner in the Sex Robots© industry, Ryan Robert Musil the First. Without him, Sex Robots would be nothing.

Are you sexually frustrated? Do you find yourself masturbating two, even three times a day to keep up with your massively charged libido? Is your partner not satisfying you? Do you ( Read more... )

The biggest fuck face ever to walk this planet is Carson Daly. He is, by far, the most awful and pointless existence on Earth. If someone can come up with a reason why he should be alive besides to inflame an unmatched hatred in me, please inform me. I do not accept bullshit reasons like "cuz he wuz da host of TRL duh!!!!!" or "He'S sO hOt, OmFg" ( Read more... )

Everyone who voted for Bush is a complete fucktard. I don't care if I've known you my entire life, if we're best friends, if we've shared a "moment," whatever. If you voted for Bush, you are a fucking moron ( Read more... )

This world would be so much better if duels were commonplace. I mean think about it ( Read more... )

The other night, the internet went down and I thought my life was going to end. No, I didn't have a homework assignment to finish or a research paper to write, or anything remotely as important as those tasks ( Read more... )

Ahhhhh aren't colleges supposed to weed out the retards that apply??? God ( Read more... )

I recently heard that somewhere, at some college, there is a Simpsons class offered. That's right, a class dealing with, studying, and analyzing the cartoon show "The Simpsons." How fucking rad, right ( Read more... )

When I was still a young, lazy, procrastinating high school student, I always told myself that when I got to college, I would be the most studious student ever to walk the face of the planet. This thought helped me to rationalize why I never did homework, why I frequently doodled instead of taking notes, why I only did classwork when it was ( Read more... )

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