Cryin' (Part 3/?)
Title: Cryin'
Author: imakelovenotwar
Pairing: Kris/Adam, Kris/Katy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kris talks to Matt.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. This never happened. (Rub it in my face, why dontcha?)
Warning: None, maybe kind of a filler chapter.
Part 1: community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/379307.html
Part 2: community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/383136.html
Kris and Adam were speaking. Well, mostly. Music, the other contestants, TV shows, celebrities they'd met so far were all topics of conversation. Katy, Drake? Not so much.
At this point, Kris didn't even know if Adam was still with Drake. Or whether he'd found someone else. He didn't have the guts to ask Adam, to bring that little issue into their lives again. He just enjoyed talking to Adam too much. Plus, he didn't really wanna know.
They went back to normal. At least, as close to normal as they could. There was something missing, the bond they had seemed splintered, weaker than before. And Kris knew he had himself to blame for that.
One night, they were having dinner when the very issue was brought up. By Allison. Kris loved her like his own sister, but at that moment, he just wished she would shut up.
"So, Adam, you missing Drake?" she said.
Adam looked surprised. He glanced at Danny and Michael, waiting to see their reaction. They just looked stone-faced. Kris hated it. He hated that they didn't want to hear it, that Adam felt as if he needed to censor his words around them. He hated that he himself didn't want to hear Adam's answer to that question, although admittedly it was for a completely different reason.
"Yeah, Allie, I kinda do," Adam replied matter-of-factly. "We spent almost the whole break before the tour began together, so of course I miss him."
"I'm sure we know exactly what you miss, Adam," Matt said suggestively, wagging his eyebrows. That's what Kris loved about Matt, he treated Adam's relationship the same as everyone else's, that is, with humor and suggestive remarks.
"Oh yeah, Matt, I miss him sooooo much. Maybe I should just use you as a substitute, would you mind that?" Adam replied, laughing. Kris knew Adam liked Matt, too. Matt was never fazed with any of Adam's jokes.
"Oh yes Adam, I've wanted you for sooo long," Matt deadpanned. "I can't wait to hold you, to touch you all over your -"
"Okay," Danny interjected. "Okay, don't you think that's enough? We have a 17-year old at the table."
Matt childishly whispered to Lil something about Danny and a stick up his ass and how he was actually jealous of Matt flirting with Adam. Kris didn't catch the whole thing. But they all burst out laughing after that, Kris included. Well, Michael and Danny didn't really, but the others were practically on the floor laughing their heads off.
But through the laughter, Kris could feel the heaviness settling in along with the realization that Adam was really over him. And even though Kris knew that it was for the best, he couldn't help his heart feeling a little bit heavy.
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After the dinner, Kris was outside the tour bus with his guitar, strumming along to one of his songs, alternating between "How Sweet It Is" and "To Make You Feel My Love".
Suddenly, he heard the bus door open and close, followed by footsteps walking in his direction. He turned his head slightly and saw Matt walking towards him. He mouthed "hey" in reply to Matt's hi and soon, Matt was sitting next to him on the grass, listening to the sounds of his guitar.
When Kris stopped, Matt said "Kris, are you okay?"
Kris was surprised. He liked Matt, but he had never taken him as the sensitive type. He was the funny man, or so Kris had thought.
"Yeah, man, I'm fine. Just missed playing with the guitar."
"Not today, Kris," Matt replied, shaking his head. "Ever since you came back for the tour, I've noticed that you were never really happy. And you and Adam, well, there's a difference between you guys. Like something happened, like you guys had a fight or something."
There was an extremely long moment of silence. Kris was surprised that Matt had noticed all of this, he'd been pretty sure the others, at least, hadn't caught on. But then again, he hadn't thought Matt had caught on either. Kris was also debating the pros and cons of telling Matt the whole story. He'd been dying to talk to someone for a while now. He knew Allie was out, simply because she had probably heard the story from Adam and he needed fresh perspective. Of all the others, Kris hadn't known who to talk to. Matt and Lil were probably his top choice. But he hadn't decided, and here Matt was, asking him.
Kris decided. "Matt... do you think..... someone can be in love with two people at the same time?"
Matt didn't look shocked at all, much to Kris's surprise. He'd been expecting a shocked "What?" or its equivalent, but all Matt did was look all understanding.
"Adam, huh? And Katy?" Matt said, with certainty, now shocking Kris. Had it really been that obvious? "The others don't know, if that's what you're worried about," Matt continued, reading Kris's face.
"Yeah, Adam," Kris replied, his voice soft.
Matt pondered for a moment, then he went for it. "Yes, Kris, I think one can be in love with two people at the same time. But, and this is by experience, I really doubt you could love them the same. There's always one you'd rather be with, when you really think about it."
Kris was silent, so Matt continued. "So who is it for you, Adam or Katy?"
"I.. I thought it was Adam," Kris replied, his voice a little shaky, he couldn't believe he was telling Matt all of this. It felt pretty good, to be honest, getting it all off his chest.
"But?" Matt replied.
"But Katy's pregnant."
FInally, something shocked Matt. His eyes widened and he stared at Kris for a minute.
"Oh, Kris, umm... congratulations. But, you know... there's always a way to be a father even if you're not with her," Matt said. "I mean, I hate divorce, I think it makes things really complicated especially when there's a child involved... but, the heart wants what it wants. That is, if you still think Adam's the one."
"Matt, I can't. I just can't imagine raising a baby like that. I know it works for so many couples. But I just, I just have to give it a try. And it'll be worth it eventually, wouldn't it? When he or she walks, talks for the first time, when they go off to college. I just know those moments would be worth the pain I'm going through now."
"Kris," Matt said softly, as if trying not to be so hard on him, now that he realised just how sad Kris was. "You do know you would get to enjoy those moments even if you were with Adam. It's not like he'd ever dream of depriving you of that."
"I know. It's not Adam, its just me. I know it's so traditional, but I'd hate myself for not even trying to give the child a home. And I still love Katy, I do, if not, I wouldn't even bother giving this a shot," Kris replied.
"Yeah, but you love Adam more, don't- "
Kris interrupted him mid-sentence. "This is all a moot point anyway. Adam's moved on, with Drake and I'm just being a whiny old baby." Kris laughed, no trace of humor in his voice.
Matt just stared at him for a while. "It's your decision, Kris. You're my friend and all I hope is that you end up happy. But you do have to choose one path eventually. Not flip-flop on your decision, because you could really end up hurting so many people, not to mention yourself too." Matt was really surprising Kris here, he hadn't known Matt felt so strongly about him or that he could be so wise.
"You know you can talk to me whenever you want, okay?" Matt continued softly. He put a hand on Kris's shoulder for a second, then he got up and walked back to the bus.
Kris leaned his head against the bus and just kept strumming the guitar. It was the only thing keeping him going now, his music. That and the thought of having a child.
Matt was right. He'd made his decision.
Katy. And he was going to stick to it. He had to, for everyone's sake, including his own.
He just had to figure out a way to let Adam go.
Okay, sorry if you didn't like it, since nothing really happened. I felt it was a necessary chapter. Comment please!!! The comments keep me going. Also, the first chapter, someone said to make Kradam happy at least as friends, and while I didn't exactly fulfill that request, I did throw out the idea of having them still be mad at each other. So, leave me your suggestions, and I might just follow them. =)
Author: imakelovenotwar
Pairing: Kris/Adam, Kris/Katy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kris talks to Matt.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. This never happened. (Rub it in my face, why dontcha?)
Warning: None, maybe kind of a filler chapter.
Part 1: community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/379307.html
Part 2: community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/383136.html
Kris and Adam were speaking. Well, mostly. Music, the other contestants, TV shows, celebrities they'd met so far were all topics of conversation. Katy, Drake? Not so much.
At this point, Kris didn't even know if Adam was still with Drake. Or whether he'd found someone else. He didn't have the guts to ask Adam, to bring that little issue into their lives again. He just enjoyed talking to Adam too much. Plus, he didn't really wanna know.
They went back to normal. At least, as close to normal as they could. There was something missing, the bond they had seemed splintered, weaker than before. And Kris knew he had himself to blame for that.
One night, they were having dinner when the very issue was brought up. By Allison. Kris loved her like his own sister, but at that moment, he just wished she would shut up.
"So, Adam, you missing Drake?" she said.
Adam looked surprised. He glanced at Danny and Michael, waiting to see their reaction. They just looked stone-faced. Kris hated it. He hated that they didn't want to hear it, that Adam felt as if he needed to censor his words around them. He hated that he himself didn't want to hear Adam's answer to that question, although admittedly it was for a completely different reason.
"Yeah, Allie, I kinda do," Adam replied matter-of-factly. "We spent almost the whole break before the tour began together, so of course I miss him."
"I'm sure we know exactly what you miss, Adam," Matt said suggestively, wagging his eyebrows. That's what Kris loved about Matt, he treated Adam's relationship the same as everyone else's, that is, with humor and suggestive remarks.
"Oh yeah, Matt, I miss him sooooo much. Maybe I should just use you as a substitute, would you mind that?" Adam replied, laughing. Kris knew Adam liked Matt, too. Matt was never fazed with any of Adam's jokes.
"Oh yes Adam, I've wanted you for sooo long," Matt deadpanned. "I can't wait to hold you, to touch you all over your -"
"Okay," Danny interjected. "Okay, don't you think that's enough? We have a 17-year old at the table."
Matt childishly whispered to Lil something about Danny and a stick up his ass and how he was actually jealous of Matt flirting with Adam. Kris didn't catch the whole thing. But they all burst out laughing after that, Kris included. Well, Michael and Danny didn't really, but the others were practically on the floor laughing their heads off.
But through the laughter, Kris could feel the heaviness settling in along with the realization that Adam was really over him. And even though Kris knew that it was for the best, he couldn't help his heart feeling a little bit heavy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the dinner, Kris was outside the tour bus with his guitar, strumming along to one of his songs, alternating between "How Sweet It Is" and "To Make You Feel My Love".
Suddenly, he heard the bus door open and close, followed by footsteps walking in his direction. He turned his head slightly and saw Matt walking towards him. He mouthed "hey" in reply to Matt's hi and soon, Matt was sitting next to him on the grass, listening to the sounds of his guitar.
When Kris stopped, Matt said "Kris, are you okay?"
Kris was surprised. He liked Matt, but he had never taken him as the sensitive type. He was the funny man, or so Kris had thought.
"Yeah, man, I'm fine. Just missed playing with the guitar."
"Not today, Kris," Matt replied, shaking his head. "Ever since you came back for the tour, I've noticed that you were never really happy. And you and Adam, well, there's a difference between you guys. Like something happened, like you guys had a fight or something."
There was an extremely long moment of silence. Kris was surprised that Matt had noticed all of this, he'd been pretty sure the others, at least, hadn't caught on. But then again, he hadn't thought Matt had caught on either. Kris was also debating the pros and cons of telling Matt the whole story. He'd been dying to talk to someone for a while now. He knew Allie was out, simply because she had probably heard the story from Adam and he needed fresh perspective. Of all the others, Kris hadn't known who to talk to. Matt and Lil were probably his top choice. But he hadn't decided, and here Matt was, asking him.
Kris decided. "Matt... do you think..... someone can be in love with two people at the same time?"
Matt didn't look shocked at all, much to Kris's surprise. He'd been expecting a shocked "What?" or its equivalent, but all Matt did was look all understanding.
"Adam, huh? And Katy?" Matt said, with certainty, now shocking Kris. Had it really been that obvious? "The others don't know, if that's what you're worried about," Matt continued, reading Kris's face.
"Yeah, Adam," Kris replied, his voice soft.
Matt pondered for a moment, then he went for it. "Yes, Kris, I think one can be in love with two people at the same time. But, and this is by experience, I really doubt you could love them the same. There's always one you'd rather be with, when you really think about it."
Kris was silent, so Matt continued. "So who is it for you, Adam or Katy?"
"I.. I thought it was Adam," Kris replied, his voice a little shaky, he couldn't believe he was telling Matt all of this. It felt pretty good, to be honest, getting it all off his chest.
"But?" Matt replied.
"But Katy's pregnant."
FInally, something shocked Matt. His eyes widened and he stared at Kris for a minute.
"Oh, Kris, umm... congratulations. But, you know... there's always a way to be a father even if you're not with her," Matt said. "I mean, I hate divorce, I think it makes things really complicated especially when there's a child involved... but, the heart wants what it wants. That is, if you still think Adam's the one."
"Matt, I can't. I just can't imagine raising a baby like that. I know it works for so many couples. But I just, I just have to give it a try. And it'll be worth it eventually, wouldn't it? When he or she walks, talks for the first time, when they go off to college. I just know those moments would be worth the pain I'm going through now."
"Kris," Matt said softly, as if trying not to be so hard on him, now that he realised just how sad Kris was. "You do know you would get to enjoy those moments even if you were with Adam. It's not like he'd ever dream of depriving you of that."
"I know. It's not Adam, its just me. I know it's so traditional, but I'd hate myself for not even trying to give the child a home. And I still love Katy, I do, if not, I wouldn't even bother giving this a shot," Kris replied.
"Yeah, but you love Adam more, don't- "
Kris interrupted him mid-sentence. "This is all a moot point anyway. Adam's moved on, with Drake and I'm just being a whiny old baby." Kris laughed, no trace of humor in his voice.
Matt just stared at him for a while. "It's your decision, Kris. You're my friend and all I hope is that you end up happy. But you do have to choose one path eventually. Not flip-flop on your decision, because you could really end up hurting so many people, not to mention yourself too." Matt was really surprising Kris here, he hadn't known Matt felt so strongly about him or that he could be so wise.
"You know you can talk to me whenever you want, okay?" Matt continued softly. He put a hand on Kris's shoulder for a second, then he got up and walked back to the bus.
Kris leaned his head against the bus and just kept strumming the guitar. It was the only thing keeping him going now, his music. That and the thought of having a child.
Matt was right. He'd made his decision.
Katy. And he was going to stick to it. He had to, for everyone's sake, including his own.
He just had to figure out a way to let Adam go.
Okay, sorry if you didn't like it, since nothing really happened. I felt it was a necessary chapter. Comment please!!! The comments keep me going. Also, the first chapter, someone said to make Kradam happy at least as friends, and while I didn't exactly fulfill that request, I did throw out the idea of having them still be mad at each other. So, leave me your suggestions, and I might just follow them. =)