(no subject)
Title: The Sandbox Chronicles (18/20)
Chapter Title: The Office
Author: me
Rating: R
Summary: It all started in a sandbox.
Disclaimer: i own nnoooooone of this.
Author's Notes:for those who have already read this chapter and for those who haven't, i have EDITED the ending of this chapter. it makes more sense and things aren't so rushed, as someone pointed out to me that this chapter was doing. so please read if you want :) me and this chapter just don't get along *sigh* but thanks to bdr28 for the constructive crit. she's been giving me. *huggles* i couldn't keep up with the angst. that's all i'm saying about this chapter. now about the story. i get the feeling that some people have lost interest. adn trust me that's totally ok. i'm starting to get tired of this story too. i understand people have lives outside of the kradam universe and what not so i just wanted to say that i'm totally ok if people don't like this anymore. i've started plenty of stories that i liked in the beginning but then a few chapters in i just lost complete interest. now that that's out there! lol on with the story! :)
Part 1: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/390471.html#cutid1
Part 2: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/393316.html#cutid1
Part 3: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/398624.html#cutid1
Part 4: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/405456.html#cutid2
Part 5: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/414654.html#cutid1
Part 6: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/423438.html#cutid1
Part 7: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/432194.html#cutid1
Part 8: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/458045.html#cutid1
Part 9: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/467226.html#cutid1
Part 10: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/474838.html#cutid1
Part 11: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/489055.html#cutid1
Part 12: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/495336.html#cutid1
Part 13: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/500830.html#cutid1
Part 14: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/508408.html#cutid1
Part 15: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/520579.html#cutid1
Part 16: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/551245.html#cutid1
Part 17: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/567986.html#cutid1
.As the days pass Adam avoids all possible contact with Kris inside the house at least. Outside the house they keep up their usual on TV banter or affectionate hugs but it’s strained and awkward. He hates it but Kris brought it upon himself, in Adam’s mind. Kris pushed and Adam reacted and it all went downhill because Kris is cute and distracting and pushy.
Kris wins, Adam couldn’t be happier. Even with things so strained and awkward between then, Adam is still happy no matter what. He'll always be proud of whatever Kris does, even if Adam himself isn't by Kris' side one day. The tour rehearsals start in a couple of days and Adam has spent almost every free day getting ready to start the album. He’s see Kris in passing though they don’t really say anything to each other. Adam can tell it’s eating Kris up inside, can see it in his eyes in very brief moments they look at each other in the studio. He can see it the way Kris steps around him, avoids him like the plague because he’s afraid that Adam will go off again.
It’s his fault, Adam’s stubborn mind just won’t give up. He knows that part of this is his fault, too, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Kris started it and Adam’s sticking with that.
Today, as Adam sits across from Drake in the small restaurant booth, he can’t help but find all the similarities to Kris. Brown hair, big eyes, short, compact underneath the clothes. But the personalities are completely different. Where Drake is funny, Cajun, a little out there and crazy, Kris is quieter, shier, more drawn in to himself but not so much that one would think he never talked. Kris opens up when he knows someone. He opens up around Adam.
“I have to go,” Adam says suddenly and slides out of the booth, leaving a confused Drake sitting at the booth staring after him.
"Adam, what's the deal?" Drake calls after him. Adam ignores Drake, keeps on walking out the door, and hurries to his car.
Just sitting there not paying an ounce of attention to his lunch date and isntead focusing on how different he is from Kris made Adam realize just how much he's losing by not at least trying to fix things. So he'll speed to the studio where he knows Kris is supposed to be having a meeting with his proucers today. As he gets in the car and cranks it up, he can only hope that Kris reciprocates the need to make things right.
***
The traffic is terrible and he hits every redlight but eventually Adam makes it to the studio. He races to the door, ignoring his constantly ringing cell phone with Drake's name flashing on the screen. He can see the ob ject of his destination through the big front window of the second studio where they record, can see him talking and laughing with one of the producers. Adam finally reaches the door, right as Kris walks around a corner, still laughing, still talking to the producer.
"Fuck," Adam curses, shoving a hand through his done up hair. Who cares if he messes it up right now. He's more focused on getting to Kris, making things better, and then maybe-
"Adam, what're you doing here? You don't have recording today," Adam whips around to see his manager, Mark, walking out of the restroom drying his hands on a piece of that scratchy brown paper.
"I'm...uh, I'm here to talk with someone," Adam answers and waves his manager off.
"Well, while you're here I wanted to talk to you about laying down the rest of your first song tomorrow."
Adam can here Mark babbling on and on about the first song on the album. He steers a desperate Adam to the nearest room and they both sit. "Mark, really, I don-"
He's cut off by Mark's hand in the air, a smile on his face. "No, no, I understand. It won't take long, I promise." At that he starts talking again and Adam tunes him out almost immediately. He glances over his shoulder where he can see through one of the window panes separating the hallway from the room. No Kris yet. Chewing on his lip, he keeps his eyes on the see-through wall hoping for Kris to come out of that office in the next few minutes. Otherwise Adam himself will be pissing Mark by getting up and walking out.
"Adam are you listening to me?" Mark asks jokingly.
That's one thing Adam doesn't like about his manager. He's too perky and all about making jokes when the time isn't really right and he can be annoying most of the time. But Adam deals with it because he needs a manager and he wants this album to take off in the right direction, no bad words from someone he told off.
"Sorry, Mark. But no, I'm not listening. Too much on my mind right now." Adam chews on his lip harder and his phone rings in his pocket again. With a loud huff he digs it out and answers it. "Drake not now."
"It's me."
Adam stops breathing for two milliseconds before he's breathing out, "Kris," and standing up. Mark starts to get up, too, but Adam puts his hand out and walks out the door into the hallway. No Kris.
"I just-I'm tired of....God. Where are you? This would be so much easier in person," Kris laughs with no humor to it and Adam thinks it's the best thing he's heard since they fought. He'll take a laugh with no humor to it over the cold shoulder any day.
"I'm here at the studio actually." Adam chuckles nervously, hoping Kris doesn't think Adam's become some kind of stalker or something. "I left Drake at lunch and came here 'cause I knew you were having a meeting today."
"I'm coming," Kris says and then Adam's hearing a dial tone and footsteps at the same time. He looks up and sees Kris walking towards him with a purpose, determination set on his handsome face. Taking Adam by surprise, Kris grabs his wrist, tugs once sharply, and keeps walking. Adam follows until Kris is entering an empty office with all solid wooden walls so no one can see them and he's closing the door behind Adam.
"Kris, listen to me, I'm sorry," Adam starts but then loses his train of thought when he sees the look in Kris's round brown eyes. He's wanting, he's needy, and it's all masking something Adam can't quite read. "Kr-" He can't get another word out. Kris is suddenly launching himself at Adam, backing him into the door, hands fisted in his shirt, and with a low growl he presses his lips against Adam's.
Adam freezes. Not this again! he thinks, panic already settling in his chest. He plants his hands on Kris' shoulders and pushes but Kris is a strong little fucker and he pushes back just as hard. The door handle is digging into Adam's back now and he doesn't like this one bit.
"Don't be sorry," Kris mumbles against Adam's lips, eyes closed, and Adam swallows past the lump in his throat. Panic is really starting to take hold. "I'm the one that screwed up, Adam." And then he drops his hands and steps back only a couple of inches, and hangs his head. "Sorry," he mumbles.
"Kris," Adam whines and moves sideways so the handle isn't pressing into him anymore. Kris looks up, bottom lip tucked between teeth and Adam just wants and he wants now. But he keeps that desire in check because there's still the issue of Katy, of their lives, of Drake who probably wouldn't really give a flying fuck when Adam thinks about it, and he has to think of their families. Adam's family has known all along about his sexuality but Kris' family doesn't know anything that Adam knows of.
So Adam voices these thoughts, these worries, because he's not taking until he's sure he can have and that Kris won't freak and get mad again. "Adam, shut up," Kris says calmly but Adam keeps talking fast and animated, hands flying, feet carrying him in a pace in front of the door. Kris would normally find this amusing but he hasn't been Adam's friend for a couple of weeks now and it's killing him. He wants Adam to shut up so they can fix things the right way.
"Adam!" Kris raises his voice. Adam stops on a fast breath out, eyes a little frantic and wide. His hair is a disheveled mess from running his hands through it over and over in his pacing. Kris grabs a wrist and tugs it down. Adam finally meets Kris' eyes. "I've thought about things a lot in these past couple of weeks that we haven't spoken."
"Oh really?" Adam raises an eyebrow.
"Don't give me that look, Lambert. Yes, I have." Kris doesn't know when but he's started rubbing his thumb in small circles against Adam's wrist, right over the tattoo. Adam is enjoying it way too much. "I love Katy, I do. But not the same way I did. We've been together for seven years, always with each other. I don't know what it's like to be with someone else."
Adam steps forward, takes Kris' face in his hands, Kris' fingers still wrapped around that one wrist. "Your parents?" He draws circles into the high point of Kris' cheekbones. Kris' eyes close for a brief second before opening them again. When he does they're darker than before.
"They've always known that I like to go my own way but still please people at the same time. You know I had a crush on a guy in college when me and Katy were broken up?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I told my mom. She told me that if something like that were to ever happen then I had to make sure that it was what I wanted, then I had to bring them home for dump cake so she and Dad could rib them to death," Kris laughs, this time with much humor, and Adam hums. He's calmed down, the panic almost completely gone; there's still an inkling, waiting to grow the moment Kris decides against everything he's said. "She wouldn't mind it being with you," Kris adds in a whisper. Adam's breath hitches in his throat and then he released it in a shaky breath.
"Kris you don't know what you could be getting yourself in to." Adam tries to get Kris out of this, no matter how much he wants for himself, because Kris is too good to have bad things happen to him. Kris is too wholesome and nice to have slurs thrown at him about sexuality and his way of life. He's too young for that.
"I wanted to talk to you this morning about all of this. But you were out of the hotel before I could get you to stop." Adam shrugs. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Adam. The crush thing is just one of them. We may have been friends for a few years but that seven year gap? A lot happened, sort of. And there's things even when we were friends as kids that I didn't tell you."
Adam can feel his eyes watering up. Kris is right. There are so many things they don't know about each other. Things they could know if they took the time.
"Did you know that I talked to Katy last week and told her about what happened in our room?" Adam's eyes go wide and he stops drawing circles into Kris' cheeks.
"Kris, I-"
"Adam, let me finish." Kris squeezes Adam's wrist slightly. "She told me that we did get married a little too young. She still wants to try the acting thing out. I still want to see more of the world and make more music."
"But what about the family you two always talked about starting once everything has died down?"
"Let's not talk about that," Kris mutters and Adam tries to ignore the momentary flash of pain that flits through Kris' eyes. "What I want, right now, and for a long time, is you, Adam. When I was a teenager and you started ditching me for guys? Did you know that I was always so jealous?" Kris admits and Adam smiles.
"You were such a weird kid." Adam pokes his tongue out. Kris laughs and falls forward, arms going around Adam's torso and his face burying in Adam's shirt. He breathes in deep; Adam can feel it against his own chest.
"I was still figuring myself out. And then we moved to Conway and it screwed me up," Kris laughs again and burrows deeper.
"Why are we still talking about all of this in an empty office?" Adam asks, then presses a kiss to Kris' hair. Kris doesn't answer. Instead he pulls back just far enough to raise up on his toes, tangle his fingers in Adam's thick hair, and kisses him. This time Adam doesn't freeze up or panic. He gladly kisses back, tugging on Kris' waist to bring him closer.
When Kris slides one hand down Adam's backside only to lock the door, Adam moans. Kris smirks into the kiss and shoves his hand up Adam's shirt. "Kris, don't start something you're not ready to do," Adam whispers, then presses small kisses on Kris' jawline down to his fluttering pulse in his neck.
"What do you-" Adam suddenly presses his crotch up and against Kris' hip, letting him the growing bulge in his jeans. "Oh," Kris gasps.
"Kris," Adam warns. He's getting painfully hard now and it's taking everything in him not to throw Kris on the the empty desk and do naughty things not suitable for the work place. "I'm glad we're getting on the right track and everything, but Kris this isn't the right place nor the right time."
"Says the one with this," Kris, before Adam can even comprehend it, reaches around and down and cups Adam through his jeans. He's smirking at Adam now, squeezing his hand with just the right amount of pressure. "Come on, Adam. We can talk more later."
"You asked for it," Adam growls then grips Kris' waist harder and pushes him back until he's against the desk. He easily picks Kris up and sits him on the desktop, grins. Kris undoes the top button of Adam's god-awful green shirt with palm trees on it, fingers a little shaky. Adam takes his hands and rubs the pads of his thumbs in Kris' palm, soothing and calming him. He kisses Kris rough and sweet and dirty all at once. "You do stuff like this and you can't go back." Adam warns him after pulling away.
Kris looks contemplative, like he's thinking hard about this kind of decision. Finally he blows out a breath and shoves a hand in his hair. "I want it. I want it all," he barely has it out before Adam is kissing him again, a rough slide of his tongue inside Kris' mouth, memorizing every bump, ridge, and curve. If this doesn't work out entirely then he wants something he can hold on to.
Then Adam's reasonable side kicks in and looking into those brown eyes that hold only a hint of fear behind all the other emotions, he stops. He pulls Kris' hand away from his thigh, places it on the desk top, and ignores Kris' groan of protest. "Kris, stop," Adam says softly.
"What?" Kris mumbles and he looks so dejected that Adam wants to kiss him to make it all better.
"You're not ready to do anything."
"Yes I am! Adam," Kris whines and tries to kiss him again but Adam puts his hands on Kris' chest and gently pushes him back. Kris sighs, sliding off the desk and onto the floor so he's standing.
"You're thinking, I can tell. You and I both know that until the thing with your parents and with Katy is all settled and worked out, we're not doing anything," Adam wants to smile at the expression on Kris' face. He looks like a lost puppy, eyes watery, lower lip protruding like he's attempting to not cry. "Come on. I missed out on lunch to come talk to your puppy ass. Let's go get some lunch."
Kris nods, biting on his bottom lip hard, and lets Adam lead him out of the office by the wrist.
***
It's after lunch when they're settled back into their hotel room and Adam is in the shower that Kris allows himself to think some more. He wants this, he wants Adam and everything to work out with everyone. But as long as Katy and his parents are on his mind then he can't do anything about what he wants. He keeps thinking of the family he always wanted to start with Katy when the time is right. He knows his parents and Daniel would be happy to have kids running around again.
Katy would be accepting of his decision. She already has accepted the fact about what happened in the mansion between he and Adam. She didn't completely freak, at first. Kris si grateful for that. That's part of the reason why he married her. She's so understanding and accepting of things that it makes Kris feel like he isn't deserving of someone like her.
His phone starts ringing, breaking him out of his thoughts for the moment. Katy's name is flashing on the screen. Instead of answering it he lets it ring. He'll talk to her later. He still has too much to figure out.
Too much.