So it's been way too long since I've written anything in Livejournal. It's time I start writting again. A lot has happend since the last time I wrote. So here is the Bridget Jones Diary aspect of this journal ( Read more... )

I'm learning to live with dissappointment.

My best friend and I were putting up the Christmas tree decorations tonight. When going through them, I ran across the special tree orniments that I get one every year. I ran across the one for Sam & I's engagement, Marriage, First Christmas, and Honeymoon. When I got to the first Christmas, I broke down and cried. I thought I moved on right? I ( Read more... )

Friday, I signed a Termination Agreement with my husband. It's the first step for the divorce. The paperwork will be filed with the court next week. I had a sad moment today in thinking that it was not my choice to terminate my marriage. I just made it legal with my husbands decision. I am trying to remain strong as I am trying to move on. I have ( Read more... )

Today I've felt better than I have since last November. Perhaps its the less stress, perhaps its the new look, perhaps it's just because I realize I've been in a cocoon for some time and its time for me to turn into a butterfly.

It is so hard to slowly detach the pieces of life that you have built over the last five years. Reality hit me hard today that I am seperating from the man I still love only to know that he does not love me. We started seperating accounts. I don't know if reality has hit him like it has me. And why do I still love him after all his cheating, his ( Read more... )

I'm sick of being sick. :(

I'm missing a loved one...Sam in particular. I don't know what happend between us and I can't tell you why I feel the way I feel. Why I can still love him after all he has done to hurt me.

It's so hard for me right now...feeling deserted, alone, and very depressed. You get so used to sharing a life with someone, and then all of sudden there isn't anyone. I'm feeling depressed...This is so hard to get through.....

I just don't want it to be true that Sam doesn't love me. Speaking with him today and discussing our situation, he made it very clear that he cares for me, but does not love me. Next step: Let my heart get over the man who I thought was going to be my life partner.