My parents use to tell me that life will get better when I was younger. Looking back, it was probably just one of those things parents say to motivate their kid. I'm older now but life doesn't seem any better and it just gets tougher. I sort of miss the days when I was still a kid, those carefree days. People around have told me that they envy my ( Read more... )

I envy people who are optimists. Ones who view the world with a such positive light. Try as I might, at the end of the day, I am still a pessimist filled with negativity.

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Sometimes in life, I get caught up in a downward spiral of self destruction until I realize where I'm headed or someone knocks me out of the downward trajectory. It's happened more often than I would like, but I guess I've always managed to get back on my feet sometimes with a little help. I must admit the climb back up from the bottom of the hole ( Read more... )

Stronger, faster, smarter

I need a drinking buddy. Someone to drown my sorrows with. It would be a nice change from drinking alone.

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Last night, I had some troubled sleep and I kept waking up. Ended up only getting like 3-4 hours of sleep. I had to get up early this morning for the start the next rotation. I guess it's the same old things that are keeping me up. The only way I've been able to deal with it thus far is drowning my sorrows before I attempt sleep. I find that makes ( Read more... )

It's 3:30am. I can't sleep. I've been trying for the last hour. Every once in a while, but more often recently, I have these panic attacks. Except that instead of anxiety it's been anger and frustration. I'm the kind of person that keeps things to myself, bottled up deep inside. And sometimes it starts to seep out, like tonight. Usually it's ( Read more... )

this game is so awesome!!

I realized that I have become the kind of person that I despise. I f'ed up. I didn't think I was capable of it, but my actions beg to differ. I'm disappointed in myself. I thought I was a better person than this, but I guess not. I'm sorry.

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Watching movies: a means by which I live vicariously through others, a way to futilely experience things that I do not have the courage to do.

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