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Happy new year!
Happy new year all. Be better, to ourselves and each other. -
The end and start, 2024 into 2025. :> <3
Just a few hours to go now ( Read more... ) -
the low point. the low valley. the discarded self.
is weird. I thought I was going to be way past this at this age, you know... the age. Past 40. I thought I was going to be all like, "adult" and "grown up" and "smooth man person who has a hot chick and has lots of monkey fun, and a home and family and bla bla bla" and there's none of that here. like... it's weird that I so am living, in actual ( Read more... ) -
family hurt
i hurt. i hurt my family, and they hurt me, and we all hurt each other, and no one wants to stop hurting, so... our family is not a family.
what is the point of family? or of being alive? -
so tired. so sad and unworthy.
i am so tired. my life did not go as fantasized, let alone planned. there was no plan ( Read more... ) -
....:3 Hello.
I recovered my LJ ( Read more... ) -
dead husk
I want to die sometimes ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
sometimes i feel like my soul is dead inside. like I am only a body that's alive, with a brain, but no soul, no spirit, no spark. I have been only a livingbody before. I don't want to have only a body again. I want my spiit to come back to life.
help
as usual
I just wanna cry this all out, I want to cry for all eternity -
I am afraid of TWO THINGS
1. If I were to get help, instead of restoration, I would get probation. I can't trust anyone. Because I am so afraid of everything, because my conscience is dirty, and I feel so guilty and ashamed of so many things. I have ten lifetimes' worth of regrets and if anyone ever found out, I would live a death of shame ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I am continually. always, unhappy, and... just hiding it. I am bad. I am a bad bad person of faith. I reflect poorly on what I am supposed to believe. The worst part isn't what I do wrong or don't do right, it's the knowledge that I'm dirtying everything I believe in, and can't stop, just can't stop ( Read more... )