"You know what we need?" BABs asked, ignoring the closed doors and strolling into Kajc's office. He situated himself in one of the visitor chairs, steepling his fingers and glancing speculatively over them at Kajc. When Kajc made no reply other than a raised eyebrow, BABs leaned forward and grinned. "A helicopter ( Read more... )

I received the following text message at eight this morning:

"Do Putties have feelings?"

I'm STILL laughing about it.

Well, after months of nagging Stephen finally got his way; there is now a forty-inch flatscreen television in my living room courtesy of him lugging it around (his job, I am told, is to bring people joy when he has nothing else to do on a Sunday). I am not sure how I feel about this. I am, however, extremely glad Courtney handled the gift cards ( Read more... )

Apparently, updating my resume (from 2007) is like fucking rocket science or something. I've been staring at it blankly for the past hour, hoping it will magically fix itself. Obviously, this is not conductive in me getting the job I want ( Read more... )

The creeptastic mountain man isn’t enough to give Sensiki pause, given the ungodly amount of crap they’ve been through to get this far; the giant wolf, however, is ( Read more... )

Normally, Gil's attempts at killing me are limited to subterfuge: lying on the stairs in the middle of the night in an attempt to trip me, flopping down directly in front of me and trying to trip me, the swipe-and-dash ( Read more... )

Some days, you're in a restaurant having dinner and maybe the Party Rock Anthem comes on... and maybe you covert shuffle. And maybe the person you're with covert shuffles. And then, maybe, you both start doing the Night At The Roxbury head bob when 'Blue' comes on and you dance up to the register and just Rock The Fuck Out ( Read more... )

Cowboys AND aliens: with this combination, how could you POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

I've been waiting almost three months to do this:

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Shane is kicking down doors and Phatom of the Opera-ing your shit up then stealing your booze. BECAUSE HE CAN.

Edit: "Don't worry, cuz and bro guy. I GOT THIS SHIT. I'm a fucking flying ( Read more... )

After three long years, I finally caved and went to the dentist today because I could no longer stand the agony that has become my life as of the last two months. Imagine my surprise when it turns out that I don't actually have any cavities. No... I just have RECEDING GUMS and EXPOSED ROOTS ( Read more... )