Yknow, I could deal with the dreams, no biggie, I grew up on nightmares. But the almost romantic feel to them is getting fucking tiresome.

Fucking my shit up, man.

So I'm taking everything a day at a time. It's nice to spend so much time with Amelia and only work the minimum and still get paid. We'll see how long it lasts since Tim gave his two week notice and Tania called to ask me if I would like more hours. Well duh! I kind of have to say yes because it would affect my unemployment otherwise.

I just got ( Read more... )

Very long story short: I have been cut from full time to part time. I am now working 15 hours as punishment for infractions that occurred in 2008 and for not following up with customers as evidenced by the AR report and incomplete orders dating back to 2008.

Fuck that place. Fuck that fucking place. So, obviously, that means I lose insurance. ( Read more... )

I should definitely be sleepiing, but old habits die hard. Amelia is next to me, sleeping. She gets bigger every day. She is starting to track movement with her big, brown eyes. I was very excited when Matthew noticed she followed him when he moved out of her line of vision. I bought her a little gym because she needs stimulation. We both need ( Read more... )

Mom is taking care of Amelia for a bit. Probably to give me a little time to myself. She keeps fighting sleep. She's going to be tired and grouchy so hopefully she sleeps a good amount tonight ( Read more... )

Being a mom is hard work. I feel pretty inadequate sometimes. I don't know if I'm doing enough or doing it right or whatever. Sometimes I'm tired and I rely on someone to take a feeding or something and I feel guilty for that. I'm warring with some emotions that are pretty distressing but I know it'll pass and I'm just trying to get used to ( Read more... )

Josh and Matthew are playing video games in the room. Amelia is napping quietly in her swing. I should do some stuff since she's quiet but I'm too lazy. Although all I have to do is fold my laundry and wash her bottles ( Read more... )

My parents offered me the option of staying home for the first year to be with Amelia. Of course, I wanted to say yes right away. I'm not looking forward to going back to work--being so far away from my baby--but to have the option?! I want to jump on it because um yeah, if they offered, then I will do anything that they want me to do so I can stay ( Read more... )

WELL.

As of 430 on June 8th 2011, I became Amelia Indiana Rose's mommy!!! I finally had my precious baby and she's absolutely perfect.

( my life aint worth living if i can't be with you )

Baby is still not here yet. I went for my weekly checkup yesterday. My mom says my OB is a cheap doctor because he hasn't checked me yet for dilation/effacement. He said he'll check me next week. Baby's heartbeat is nice and loud. She moved around when he was listening with the doppler. He then felt my belly to see if she was still head down. She ( Read more... )