You were the hardest to loose for me. Of anyone. Ever. I really wish I could have met you much later in my life. Yeah. How many times do we say that in a lifetime. To say it is almost comical.

Because I cannot seem to put the grief of just one person behind me. Any thought I have of you is either selfish, or desperate, or both. Its been a long time to still experience that magnitude of sadness. I suppose it serves me right. I'm glad you are well, finally, but I can't pretend that I am. I don't think I can ever stop being sorry, or at ( Read more... )

'...i make mistakes, i'm out of control and at times i'm hard to handle. but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.' --marilyn monroe.

i miss you and i'm still sorry.
and i still love you.
still.

you think by now i would have swarn of loving the same tragedy. i feel the same i felt before, i tried but it didn't work that way. really. i did try. idk. i have so much to say, i don't know where i would even begin. stop making yourself misrable. i'm not waiting much longer.

YOU can only push someone so many times before they back into a corner and lets face it, we all get stubborn or flighty with our backs against a wall. when you take what a person has given you and trivialize it for what YOU precive to be some form of a personal assault due to YOUR own insecurities, sometimes its hard to give anymore when all of ( Read more... )

NEVERMIND.

the winter night sky is coming back and this is where it all started ( Read more... )

i love my timy little push pin micro labret that i wear in my lip. when i got it i had to be super annoying and get it in an 18 guage. today i lost the fucking ball on it and have been searching high and low to find a stupid replacement gem for tghe gay fucking thing to avoid spending 40 bricks on something that i am either going to: a- swallow b- ( Read more... )

monumental.

i guess the squeezing blood from a stone thing works, even if it's only promise.
i'm happy with that.