There are certain mental traits that I am working towards cultivating within my own life. Certain realizations have been hitting me harder than ever. One realization is that cynicism does not make me profound nor deep. In fact, it's an extremely limiting way to see. To continuously contain such pessimism, doubt, & anger is to refrain from clear ( Read more... )

I have a few goals for this break: 1) Take a journey North again, & document it in photos, writing, perhaps even videos. The first time I did this journey was for an entirely different reason. The first time was for escape. This time will be more for documentation & fun. 2) Make a personal website. Seeing as how I am aiming to be a Web Guru, I ( Read more... )

http://lj-photophile.livejournal.com/3054426.html

I feel silly saying this, but... if you like my photo, go ahead & give it a vote.

It felt good to write out all that shit. For years, I have been making excuses for these institutions. I have said, "I realize they tried their best, but…" "I realize they kept me alive, but…" etc ad nauseum. But to put it bluntly & accurately, they fucked up on me, they fucked up on others, they do not give a shit whether the patients live or die ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the rest of them.

Sometimes the memories come back to me, & I remember those who suffered with me. Some were troublemakers. Others, like me, were deeply troubled. But in their eyes, you could see that they were awake, alert. There was potential to be strong, to fight the demon that attacks from the inside. The 16 ( Read more... )

Somehow

I have to learn

that I am ok.

I did good today. There have been two tasks I have been avoiding for quite some time due to anxiety, & I accomplished both today. They were 1) see the Illustrator instructor to ask for help 2) go to a WDIM meeting (a club for people majoring in Web Design & Interactive Media - generally, they hold workshops for those who wish to learn something ( Read more... )

I miss poetry ( Read more... )