I'm still pretty depressed. A lot of people would probably say otherwise but I would simply tell them that I guess I'm still good at faking it. First day on the ship I cut myself. I don't really know why and yet I do. But the thing is that it still does nothing for me. Maybe a little bit but not really. I miss Matty so fucking much and even though ( Read more... )

Fools in love they think they're heroes
'Cause they get to feel no pain
I say fools in love are zeros
I should know, I should know
Because this fool's in love again
i hate feeling like i'm just another disappointment. i hate how he looked at me tonight. i hate how i feel so helpless and i don't know what to do ( Read more... )

I'm so out of my head right now and i just don't want to deal with anything. I just want to close the door in all they're faces and just be alone. I don't want to do fucking inspections just because someone else fucked up. I don't want to do study hours under asinine supervision like we're fucking children. I just need to sit here and stop thinking ( Read more... )

I have all these thoughts in my head that i can't seem to get out and it's driving me crazy. i hate not knowing what's wrong and I hate even more feeling like I can't do anything to fix it. Why do I still feel like this? so detatched, like I'm standing outside my body and just watching myself. I don't feel in my head, I haven't for awhile. and I ( Read more... )

I'm pretty fucking confused and I don't know how I should feel. I'm flattered but at the same time I'm pissed off because he opened his mouth and told pretty much everyone. Awesome. I'm not worried about a reputation or anything like that. It's more of the fact that it was something personal and I really like him and I thought he really liked me, ( Read more... )

ok so i'm getting nervous and scared about the whole thing with Shawn. I think maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. I don't know ( Read more... )

A lot of shit's been happening. I've gone around for the past week or so, being the one that acts like she doesn't care but is still pissed off, the one that's having a bad day everyday, the one who is so depressed she can't function anymore. I've been everything you could possibly be, probably called almost every name in the book. I hate rumors ( Read more... )

Last night I went to the MSI concert. It was so fucking aaawesome! They're such a kickass bad. It was a bit annoying tho at some points, especially when I was trying to get closer to the stage when MSI was about to come one. Some assholes behind us started pushin the crowd against us and the rest of the people around us until we couldn't breathe ( Read more... )

so I started my math class for school. uh. found out yesterday that i was in the wrong class and i was just so frustrated i wanted to start crying. but i didn't and got put in the right class and i got my book switched. got $8.50 back from the $105 that I spent on the original book. :P college books are so freaking expensive ( Read more... )

last night was the pre-show party. it was fun. I got really trashed but it was more amusing watching everyone else. I feel really bad for steve though, he was leaning over the sink for like over 30 min cuz he drank sooo much tequila. Dave and I slept together in the basement and while it was kind of awkrward since we were both drunk, I hopped ( Read more... )