Wow, I haven't written here in a while.

Well, I finally have started to get therapy, lol.  I have a counselor, and she seems good. I've only seen her once though, my second appointment is next week.  I'm so excited to get some help to work through all of my road blocks! Well my boyfriend helps... he helps a lot actually - more than anyone has ever ( Read more... )

things are going good with the b/f. pretty fantastic actually.
he and his friend had kind of a "nice knowing you" email convo, wherein his friend said that email would be the last time he would talk to either my b/f or me. *sigh*

and this is after he kicked me off his myspace (his is private). but yes he has done a good job living up to what he ( Read more... )

things are back to normal.

well, better than normal actually... because my b/f and i are more aware of problems, we're better at communicating because of this... and we're back to putting effort into being happy.  which kind of sounds funny but i suppose since the both of us have a predisposition to anxiety and depression it makes sense.  sure it's ( Read more... )

so... josh (my b/f's best friend) did quit talking to me for the most part. took me off his friends list on myspace, which sounds silly.. but it felt like i'd been punched in the stomach for a couple of days.

treavor (my b/f) has gone to his aunt's for 3 weeks. he'll be coming back in a little more than a week. we had been doing nothing but having ( Read more... )

First, I want to put up a quote.

Aleister Crowley: "I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning."

A giant thing has happened.  I'm just cutting and pasting from my diary...

July 1, 2007

um i'm kinda... um. yeah. so. apparently josh likes me just as much ( Read more... )

told my b/f about polyamory..... the discussion still isn't closed, after two days. i go off the edge and take a long time to calm down...  and he certainly doesn't forget about me going off the edge. i don't think we've really gotten anywhere. i don't want to tell him how i feel about his best friend because i don't want to mess up their ( Read more... )

i'm pretty sure my b/f knows... at least in a very limited way.... how i feel about his best friend. but sometimes i wonder if he really knows what i'm thinking? like, when we were talking about his *other* best friend that i havent met yet... this guy is a very shy person, and i wonder if i'll ever meet him. they are content with their online ( Read more... )

man, i wish i had started this lj at the beginning of it all. well, the beginning of my realization of poly, not necessarily the beginning of all of the evidence, lol.  it's going to be kinda hard recapping it all ( Read more... )

see? this is what happens to me. i just made my first post in the polyamory community on here... i tried to ask a question and i think i got one real answer to it. and a nice handful of responses, which i appreciate, but really i just want my question answered.  it makes me feel like i just suck at communicating. should i not have introduced myself ( Read more... )

good for a first entry i suppose ( Read more... )