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self sabatoge
i love drugs. I love anything that can help me stop feeing the sadness, the weight of fear, the loneliness. and I keep pushing the limit. not on purpose…well, I guess anything I do is on purpose, but I'm not purposely trying to hurt myself. The ironic thing is we preached and preached to my mom to take care of herself and her diabetes or she would ( Read more... ) -
Just when I think things are improving
I cry every day. It's never the same thing that starts it, never the same time, never the same thought, never the same thing that I've lost this year. But I cry every day. Evidently, this is a sign to my doctor to increase my meds. It's not working ( Read more... ) -
mornings
There's this moment. And I've learned to keep my eyes closed in this moment. It's that moment when you just wake up and your brain hasn't registered everything that's happening in your life. This moment is most beneficial when you've experienced heartbreak. So for that moment in my life right now I have a clean slate, until I remember ( Read more... ) -
I could go crazy here
So it's been a total of 3 weeks that I haven't had a job and haven't had a car. I've been trapped in this apartment with just sad netflix movies and so much work to do around here. I never really unpacked from July (as usual). and the first day of my seclusion i was on fire...unpacked tons of boxes, cleaned up...then it seems the second day it all ( Read more... ) -
It's still here!
so i have bought many journals....beautiful, leather, rare paper journals...but it's not the same i guess. it takes commitment to keep a writing journal. and then i remembered...livejournal ( Read more... ) -
From shantaram
The ancient Sanskrit legends speak of a destined love, a karmic connection between souls that are fated to meet and collide and enrapture one another. The legends say that the loved one is instantly recognized because she's loved in every gesture, every expression of thought, every movement, every sound, and every mood that prays in her eyes. The ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Um...hi
Not sure if I have anyone who would still read this after all this time. Feeling emotional after watching the notebook...conflicted. Not ready to dive in yet. Just thought I would see how this felt. -
well, since i deleted my myspace
1. What bill do you hate paying the most ( Read more... ) -
10 years
Yesterday was bryan and I's 10 year anniversary. it feels like it has not been 10 years and then it feels like forever all at once. I got him a car!!! a brand new HHR. he was shocked and i guess now excited. he got me a beautiful, beautiful 3 stone diamond ring. he wants me to look at better ones since he bought it seven months ago, but i don't ( Read more... )