editorial decision

[lewbasnight]

So I did write all six days, but on reflection they read as ridiculous and juvenile and terrifically self-indulgent so I locked them all away. I had to write it all down, and I did get a great deal of cathartic release from the project-- but that doesn't mean it was very good. Especially on Sunday-- Bloomsday, coincidentally-- where I had to

Comments

[surlygrl]

Aw, I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving them friends-locked if not public. It doesn't have to be Ulysses to be archive-able here. I thought the series was cool, anyway.

[lewbasnight]

It was a 'wake up in the middle of the night filled with self-loathing' decision. The chances that the person in question would stumble across the posts is remarkably slim, and of course there's a part of me who hoped she did. But I was knocked down by a wave of "oh my GOD those are such teenage heartbreak nonsense posts" that I couldn't go back to sleep until I locked them away.

You are currently the sole member of the "six day record" custom friends group. Its certainly not Joyce; I ended up veering all over the map, stylistically. There are bits I liked, but they were outnumbered by sappiness.

[lewbasnight]

You're in the super-secret club!

I just didn't need her to see it. I mean, I wanted her to, but events today have moved the dial in re: her to "Officially Bonkers; set opinion to Go Fuck Yourself."

[dusty_chenille]

I was looking forward to reading 6

I enjoyed the pieces. It never seemed indulgent. I liked them.

[lewbasnight]

Well thanks. I kinda feel like they're the online posting equivalent of Buffalo Bill's Goodbye Horses dance scene-- they grossed me out but it was impossible to look away.

You have the dubious honor of membership in the exclusive content viewership club.
I'm so sorry.

[dusty_chenille]

Thank you. I appreciate what you've done with these and understand that it is indeed personal, thanks for letting me int o read it. I like your writing. And now I feel, well, almost guilty for saying this but I feel like I know you more intimately now, too. But don't worry - I am way too lazy to become a stalker.

I do empathize with the unhealed wound experience of a past relationship. Relationships in so many ways are like wars - first you're on the same side, then you aren't. It's agonizing.

[lewbasnight]

Thanks. I appreciate the support.

It's really the not understanding what happened part that still makes me crazy. I'm told that there are things that happen in life that will never be 'closed', and I supposed I'm gradually accepting that. But it's infuriating that she's so close by, and could make things better by just talking to me, but I'm not worth the time.

[lewbasnight]

*POOF* Halla-ka-scootch! You have been magically admitted to the secret masked elite who may now observe my performance-art-worthy self-indulgent teenager-like gnashing of garments and rending of teeth!