we looked so happy. and maybe for just that second we were. I fucked up and lost you. and I felt somethingthat i never felt before in my life and that kinda of pain almost took the life outta me. when you look back at it to you i know it never mttered. ur about to be married and your pregnet. i hate it...when i walk into work I get the allyson ( Read more... )

Grab the gun ( Read more... )

Life theses past couple of months has been probley the worst of my whole entire life. Everything is falling apart and its all my fault. We all know about Betheney and I and all about CHE and getting Fierd after working there for 2 and a half years. I stil have no job, and I havent been looking either. I have become someone that I hate. A pot head. ( Read more... )

So i have been seeing betheney again and everything is back to the way its suppose to be I guess. Sometimes I wonder how far her and I will go. Shes changed me completly like I use to not want to be in a relationship...but now I have fallen head over heals for a girl. and Im in love iwth her :)

Last night I was just sitting on my bed and started crying. I took out Betheneys pictures and Iwas looking at them and I had knoticed that something was written on the back of one, apparently she wront me a note on it. It said...TO my love, my life, and my bestfriend I love you spiderman (thats what she use to call me) love, babyboo. As soon as I ( Read more... )

Today is our 4 month anniversery...I havent seen her in a week. My life is so fucked up. The one person who I want to sepnd time with I cant even do it. I dont unerstand anything anymore. I dont get why i am going through this. I just want to know that shes okay...thats it. I just want to die. I feel as if everything is falling to peices...just ( Read more... )

You kinda think that maybe things will get better but they never do. I am always going to be sitting here writting until I get the answers I wasnt and the answers that I need. When you love someone as much as I love betheny its not that easy just letting go and giving up...it dosent work that way. YOu cry for awhile until the pain goes away. I ( Read more... )

You say each day of your life that your going to wake up in the morning and do it all over. Your going to change...your going to get up go to the gym and find a job. Your going to be more active and more mature about life in general and your going to get over all your exs. For a girl like me its not that simple. I find myself wannting more and more ( Read more... )

Betheney...i remeberd the first time i laid eyes on this girl. The first time i made her laugh i knew that i was going to be with her for the rest of my life. I find myself thinking about her all the time and it sickenes me. I love her with so much of my body that it scares me. I never thought that I could settle downm. I am going to marry her... ( Read more... )

I got fierd from my job Thursday...I still cant beileve it. I dont know what to do now you know? But i guess its fate right God has a plan for all of us...i hope