Been fighting the usual headtrip for most of my life. For the first time, I am beginning to have new thoughts to replace said headtrip. What a relief. How exciting. I am finding that long lost key to freedom. I get to talk to Jody all about it on tuesday. This is so great.

I liked the movie called The Whale Rider. You should see it. I am ready for spring to be here. I am tired of being cold and want to see the sun. I want to play on the deck and have drinks there too. Okay. These are my comments for the day.

Today has been dicey. Noticed I was aiming some daggers at Lance and couldnt exactly figure it out right away. When I am in such a moment,I know that I am shooting those daggers, I know I am creating a wedge between us, I know I am hurting feelings, but I don't really care and do it anyway. And then usually end up pinning it on him with comments ( Read more... )

I tried to post a few times in the last month, but without success. My computer is toast so I use Lance's computer and I am not good with the unfamiliar keyboard and end up hitting the wrong buttons that close out of the journal in the middle of an entry. I get pissed and bail on the whole project...I think it happened twice. I will attempt to ( Read more... )

Christmas was at home this year with both sides of my family. My grandmothers had not been in the same room in some 15 or more years. I was a bit anxious beforehand, but it ended up being perfectly fine. I was not expecting it, but I felt some elation just after sitting the grandmothers in my living room. I ran into the kitchen and announced ( Read more... )

Oly finally gets some snow. It is coming down quite heavy now. The kids are excited. I love how beautiful and quiet everything becomes! I can't remember the last time we got snowed in.

I went to the memorial for my childhood friends`parents. It was a nice service. As the girls walked in with the priest, I felt a huge surge of energy flow throughout my entire body followed by an overwhelming feeling of grief. Kathy had the priest read what she had written. Kathy has always been very intelligent and her use of words was both ( Read more... )

Got a call from my mother who was requesting a favor of me. She wanted me to take her and pick her up from the airport. I really did not want to do it especially considering that the pickup was at 6:00am. I almost always crush under the pressure and mostly say yes to everything and feeling guilty and angry regardless of my reply. I am big on ( Read more... )

I got news about childhood friends who`s mother and father died in a plane crash. It is interesting how I had lived 32 years without experiencing much death except for grandparents who are old and expected to die first. Now I am 35 and have experienced so many more deaths. And such shocking, unexpected shake- your- world- up deaths. It really ( Read more... )

I was listening to Sacred Contracts learning what is more important is not what is happening in the physical world, but how you interpret events from the physical world. And I all of a sudden was reminded of a dream I had last night. I do not remember all the details..but it feels like it is very much related. I dreamed I was at some kind of ( Read more... )