trains ( Read more... )

So Brockport has to be the most unhelpful school ever. I have absolutely no idea how I'm supposed to register, or WHEN for that matter. Bah, the decision to move back to Buffalo is becoming more and more easy to make. The people I would be leaving here [Lynne, my brother etc] will still be my friends, since after years they still are. OTher than ( Read more... )

Dear you ( Read more... )

The title to this entry, really is irrelevant. I mean, they never are relevant, but I don't even have anything to relate to that song. I am unable to obtain anything, to even know what it's like to have a life WITH something. I merely choose my titles by the song I'm listening to at the moment. Remember that ( Read more... )

So. where am I now? I had some trouble again, this time I kept Steve out of it [mostly cause he wasnt around, and also cause I can't do that anymore]. I've pretty much pushed all the thoughts about him to the back of my head and just focus on the things he ACTUALLY says/does. Imagine that. Yeah i know, common sense ( Read more... )

I'm always writing this entry. I'm continuously promising myself that I'll get better. It hasn't happened yet has it? I know exactly what needs to be done, but I dont know how to do it, at all. Everyone here thinks the way this works is like a light switch. Like i can just shut off all the crap flying through my head. I don't think it works like ( Read more... )

Disassociation has always been something I've been fascinated with. Perhaps thats why psychology drew me in. My fondness for schizo's right? Well...it seems that you don't have to be clinically schizo or on drugs to experience it. I'm living the sane disassociation ( Read more... )

Unusually good spirits still. I'm enjoying it, a lot. I feel so much better cause I'm not stressed out. It's kind of weird though, sorta feel like I've missed out on a a lot since I've been in turmoil over my own self ( Read more... )

It seems, that even though you feel like you are forever sliding backwrds, there is always that one thing that gives you hope. I have a pretty specific example, which may seem lame to most, but not to me. In a potentially life ruining decision of not attending many of my classes, this past day of skipping was well spent. I went out with my brother ( Read more... )

so i've been dealing for some time now, with that fact that I am incapable to have a relationship beyond friendship, and for reasons i dont know.

now it seems, i am not even worth friendship.

asked me 5 months ago if i thought this is what it'd be like i would have told you to fuck off.

what do i do now?