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Good god. People are immensely frustrating and I can't stand it. I'm tired and I want to go home but even when I want to go home I want to be somewhere else. Even when I'm somewhere else I want to be somewhere else. I want random ass scary people to NOT talk to me or look at me ever again. I want to never be in a relationship again.... love is such ( Read more... ) -
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"mainsqueeze" is out of jail and we talked for atleast an hour. holy fucking disbelief. i can't even believe this is happening. i dreamt about it on and off for months. 2 or 3 days ago i posted on his wall not really thinking about it, just saying hi and xoxo and he sent a message today just as i was about to message him becasue i saw that he ( Read more... ) -
Rejection
Confidence has lately been low, and I wake up every day depressed... and when I'm sleeping, dreaming.... it feels as though I can't escape my dreams. Not really as though they're something to be feared, but like I'm trapped in a dream world and can't get out of it. Sort of like it's hard to wake up, but not for any particularly dreaded reason, just ( Read more... ) -
lulz
In the middle of an appointment with a case manager for DMH yesterday, a random fart noise came from my dad's blackberry. The tone of the conversation was very serious until this happened, and I was pretty much about to cry because the lady asked me to talk about my past and I hate even thinking about it lately, it causes a lot of un-wanted, un- ( Read more... ) -
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I thought I heard my cat throwing up so I briefly flashed into the room to see him sitting there, blank faced, no vomit to be seen, so I went to my grandma's house and ate tuna inside of pumpkins from a straw in his honor, R.I.P, and he left a note on my door saying goodbye and I cried but then I got so high and saw that there were no more cans to ( Read more... ) -
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A few weeks ago I went to jupiter to listen to some trance music but the old lady sitting next to me brought her dog in heat, unpleasant tapping sounds coming from both ends of the spectrum, so it really opened up a can of worms and I had a revelation when I was slitting my wrists in the bathroom of St. Lutheran's church... you haven't really lived ( Read more... ) -
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OH AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A BORDERLINE SUPPORT GROUP ON HERE? that wasn't last updated in 2006..... -
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Right now I have basically two or three choices. 1, take care of my borderline friend, who I totally understand, but exhausts me because I'm dealing with the same exact thing and I don't know the answer for her relationship to get better because she really just needs to get out of it.... but it's never that easy, 2. be totally alone and isolated, ( Read more... ) -
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Thank god for being moody, again, and thank god for having an appetite, and thank god for DMH. They're going to help me get to school, have a place to live, and get some DBT. And thank god he doesn't hate me and think I'm psycho. Just as I was about to call him and screamm at him for ignoring me, he called me to say hello, and now I'm feeling ( Read more... )