finally, summer has arrived. it's comforting. i've already realized how much happier and carefree i am. knowing, i don't have to wake up early the next morning, everyday is the weekend, no obligations to fufill, etc. it's great. the only downfall is the fact everyone has jobs nowadays, and i don't. my gram left yesterday morning. the house is ( Read more... )

First bike: handed down boy bike from craig that he spray painted hot pink and put tassles off the handlebars and a horn ( Read more... )

the hard part of exams are over. math and history. i'm overjoyed. tomorrows sculpture and english. that'll be fair, i'm thinking. with my grandma here from FL, jake in medical turmoil, the usual repulsive me, and my argumentive parents it's been almost impossible to study and go in for testing with a clear mind. my mother is so irritated, and i ( Read more... )

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in this moment of time, i'm extremely happy. and i'm unsure as to the cause. i feel weird. i don't think i've felt this uplifted in awhile. i mean in the back of my head is the "i hate my fat lardass" cynical view as always but i feel unable to be hurt by that today. to feel this way, makes me jealous to the people who are happy almost everyday, ( Read more... )

tonight

i want to feel secure and comfortable within myself

falling asleep with arms around me, so i can feel needed and loved

that's all i want tonight.

exactly one month til departure to paradise.

that's all i have to say.

: )

my brothers wedding went great. during the ceremony i saw him cry. the last time i saw him cry was when my grandmother died when i was 6. of course those were tears of pain. that hurt me even when i was 6. now im 16, accept this time it was tears of happiness. he was so happy. it made me overjoyed to know he was marrying the girl he loved. i fed ( Read more... )

one problem has led to a rapid spread of other problems. it used to affect only one person. now everyone in my family including the non-intermediate family has gone spastic. it seems the only way to be around here is -- stressed. it is rather abnoxious. i'm sick of hearing of problems. whether im involved directly or indirectly. i thought after ( Read more... )

wish i had what i needed to be on my own/because i feel so defeated/and im feeling alone/and it all seems so helpless/and i have no plans/im a plane in the sunset with no where to land/and all i see it can never make me happy/and all my sand castles send their time collapsing/let me know that you hear me/let me know your touch/let me know that you ( Read more... )