Well, I certainly never saw this coming. And it's all happening so fast. Notably, at least in my mind, this all has served as a major distraction from what has been my train of thought for the summer so far. I've spent so much time thinking about one person, and I still do because I miss him, but now I'm distracted. And I don't feel so much of the ( Read more... )

It's so true. I took extra notice tonight to my extra-large and shockingly still highly noticeable leg scar and got to thinking on all of mine. Not that there are that many, but they all tell a story. Some of those stories are about persons who I do not wish to be anymore. I see in them a shadow of a person, a shadow of myself and who I wish to be ( Read more... )

While I apparently come off as a complainer (in person), I really do dislike complaining out loud. Though I have noticed that the things I hold back on with my complaints are generally the more serious and notable. Anyway, for lack of anyone to bitch to, I shall write ( Read more... )

I know it seems more customary to post a confusing, slightly nonsensical entry, but I already did that. I made it private. Only because it really made very little sense; it makes sense to me, but I feel that all of it would be taken in ways I do not intend. I also think that a lot of the things I put into writing come off as a cry for help, and ( Read more... )

I don't know what this is. i don't know what's going on. I have so much else to think about anyway. I don't want to define it or even try to. It's hard to use words, because my feelings have made themselves known wordlessly ( Read more... )

Just when you think you know someone, you think you have it all together and everything's stable... a bomb drops and everything changes. I feel like part of my world was just jilted. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to talk about it, because I don't know what to say or to whom. To whom do I let out this secret? Because it really ( Read more... )

I have nowhere else to vent this, so... feel free not to read. This is boring and complicated and stressful. But no one cares and I really don't want to talk about it, but I need to not think about it and get it out. So, here goes ( Read more... )

Why can I not stop thinking about him? Why is this so different? I hardly ever really miss people. I do, but not a constant ache of missing. I'm overreacting. I must be. This is crazy and inconvenient and weird. All I can do is replay the last wonderful moments we spent together, because I am a cheesy, dramatic girl. His arms around me, kissing me ( Read more... )

Dear friend,
I have hardly stopped thinking about what happened the other night. I am unable to stop feeling bad about it. I wish I could take it all back, because I think we both know that it was that bad. But in retrospect, it's almost good that it happened. It was that "once and for all" moment that we obviously needed. I also found that we're ( Read more... )

There is no one to blame but myself, really. I try to blame others, but it's simply illogical. There are a million things I could have done differently, I could have prevented this mess. I could have... yes, it's all in that tense. But I didn't. I did nothing, and now I have to pay ( Read more... )