All I can think about is what someone said about us, essentially as an observer. "I kind of thought they would always be a thing ( Read more... )

It seems logical to conclude that where I am, everywhere that I am and am in the capacity to be, is not where I belong. The people, the atmosphere, the opportunities, everything. Nothing that is happening feels extraordinarily right. It's becoming obvious to me that I need to restructure something. I just don't know what yet. And I hate change. I ( Read more... )

My plan is fragile. I made its base perfectly and it is yet unfinished, but it is solid and beautiful. I would not change it for anything. But its fragility is its downfall, its ability to mar makes it frightening because it can be done in an instant. What took time and thought to be created can be altered much more quickly. And it infuriates me. I ( Read more... )

That's always the way it is: when it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's bad. When it rains, it pours ( Read more... )

I was going to make a completely unrelated post, but my idealistic musings and stream on consciousness will have to wait, I guess.
Remember back in middle school and early high school when Livejournal was all the rage for passive-aggressive drama? Well, welcome back. I understand that it is free speech and there should be places one is not judged ( Read more... )

What tends to consume my mind lately is my future. Unfortunately, my stream of thought tends to be rather boring. It's not much to talk about. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to reach my goals. I don't know if the path I choose will lead me in any successful direction. Uncertainty drives me crazy. I worry a lot. Yet, for me, things almost ( Read more... )

My biological clock is ticking a lot faster these days, it seems. I'm 20. One of the most devastatingly unexpected and unplanned things that could happen to me right now would be a pregnancy. It's just that whenever I see babies or toddlers nowadays, I'm so very reactive. I want one of my very own. I cannot wait for the day I am a mother. All ( Read more... )

Everything feels so right when we're together. I hate that it's not going to be a relationship, I really do. I'm not pushing it, but I hate how much I like being with him. He makes me so comfortable and everything is so good when I'm in his arms and we're kissing. I love it and I hate it ( Read more... )

I'm really bad at letting things go. I forgive, but I never forget. I move on, but the path is never completely covered. And I sometimes hate myself for it. Looking back at the past from the present and wishing it were the same makes me feel anxious and confused. I hate it. Why can't I ever fully move on from anything or anyone ( Read more... )

"...but I'll never survive with dead memories in my heart ( Read more... )