"Forget gay marriage, I want a ban on same-family presidencies."

No really, I do. Deadlines were great. Because they were dead, you see. They just lay there. You could see them a mile off, even though you always ignored them until you tripped over them and then got to swear about it. That was one of the best parts. The swearing ( Read more... )

I don't suppose one journal entry a month constitutes a faithful categorization of my life as it unfolds ( Read more... )

"But America is good, you know. We are. One of the good things America does; we feed other countries. We feed starving people. But you know what the problem is? We wait 'till they're starving. Why don't we feed them when they're hungry? Huh? People don't just bust out with flies around their mouths and bellies out to here all'a sudden. We know what ( Read more... )

Perhaps as a consequence of the Grand Marnier french toast and mimosas I have decided that I very much need to become independantly wealthy. Not obscenely rich, mind you. Too much money may have the effect of turning its owner into Paris Hilton at which point they become too dumb to properly appreciate a life of leisure. We're aiming for merely ( Read more... )

I tried. I really really did ( Read more... )

I have this re-occurring image of the Shrub, wearing a Roman toga, standing on a balcony of the White House playing a fiddle named Iraq while the New York Stock Exchange and the Statue of Liberty burn in the background ( Read more... )

When I rule the world there won't be a 7:00 in the morning.

"Bad times ahead, la-la la-la la-la"

I almost promised myself that I would never do this. But I'm annoyed, and the only person who would be properly annoyed along with me never answers her phone ( Read more... )

Dorothy knew it
You never meet a man with
Brains, balls AND a heart