ok i lied. i couldn't fall asleep. 
but Ellen made me feel better :) Ellen Degeneres yup. 
I love her so much!!! she definitely lifts my mood. 
I needed this. I knew it was too good to be true. 
There was no reason really. just a blur of nothing. ahaha. 
but now im so tired everything seems funny. time to sleep. hopefully. 

I haven't been up this late in a while.
I was supposed to sleep early so I can wake up. 
Just couldn't fall asleep and ended up finishing my book.

I never realized just how much I depend on my friends. 
Recently, since they all moved away or busy with work, I think I kept trying to be independent. 
One talk, just few words really, saves me for the ( Read more... )

I should be sleeping b/c I have work early tomorrow -_____-
ahaha  but something is in my head that i cannot explain.
so figured. time to blog it out.

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I lay in my bed and close my eyes.
clear out the small puddles of the unknown stream.
I hear my ( Read more... )

just watched 50 first dates.
it's been a while. so of course I cried so much.
*sigh* makes me think a lot.
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you learn everything you need to in pre-school.
I often tell the kids to not worry about others and just
worry about yourself. I really need to do that right now.
I think it's time for me ( Read more... )

so much has happened since my last entry.

apsa grad banquet. I wasn't looking forward to it at all to be completely honest.
I realized priorities and how much it hurts for love not to be reciprocated.
Why does that always happen to me? Why do i love people too much ? ahaha
I guess this will only work if I'm ok with that and accept it. and be happy ( Read more... )

It was george and my 4 year yesterday. How fast time flies.
I was having an amazing day where nothing got in my way.
just smiling about how amazing my bf is.
but of course one small thing made me so upset.
I got so angry that it made me get to me.
it always does.

I felt stupid and obsessive. not only because it's been so long
since I've felt like ( Read more... )

it's been like a month since i wrote again ahaha.
I'm not doing a very good job writing in here.
but I have been busy which is good.
My babysitting, tutoring and preschool jobs are keeping me busy.
I'm dying to hear from my grad schools.
I really REALLY hope I got in SOMEWHERE.

A lot has happened since a month ago. Good and bad. but I'll live.
I ( Read more... )

it's been a while since I wrote in here. about a month.
I think about a week ago. I was in heaven. just thinking about what I did to deserve this much happiness.
and while I'm still very grateful.
I'm back to being blue.
Is it the rain? the coldness? time of month? lol tmi I know.

I know I'll be over it in like 2 weeks. but right now.
I feel like ( Read more... )

I just thought of a convo I had with my friend recently:

"Young people these days think that when someone says that they don't like something or something bothers them, it'll make everything better by explaining it. By saying that your intentions was not to hurt them, erases the emotions. But the truth is, they feel whatever they feel and they can' ( Read more... )

idk anymore.
I thought, maybe I just care too damn much.
and I need to keep myself busy from other people.
Just be with myself and find something that makes me happy.
why am I so caught up in this world and so intense about everything that happens.
who the eff cares.
just let it go. and move on.
idk if I just need an outlet. something to call my ( Read more... )