LJ Idol 10: Topic 18: Intersection: Location Location Location

[lilmissmagic71]

It has to be perfect. Every detail has to shine! If I mess this up there won't be a do-over... no mulligans on a gaff like that. I need to find a spot so perfect her breath will be taken...

A pothole rudely interrupted his train of thought as his SUV bounced down the overgrown dirt road. He smiled and imagined how funny it would be driving

Comments

[i_17bingo]

Because I read marlawentmad's entry first, I knew what a controlling creep Cal was. And observing his inner monologue like this only made it worse. And then you had to drop that ending.

[bleodswean]

AAAAAAAAAAACK!!! THAT was bloody brilliant!!!!! You got me big time!

[rayaso]

You and marlawentmad have written a wonderful story. Your's is full of great details that, after reading marlawentmad's become so telling. It is hard to comment without giving anything away. Great work!

[beeker121]

I started with your entry, and even before the shovel came out I was getting overtones of creepy. Cal seems too focused on perfection and not enough on Camille. This built nicely.

[ryl]

And now I'm creeped out.