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20 May 2013
I'm adding this to the top after I write what is below. I realized what is going on with me! I'm feeling my feelings! I must be in a really safe place. I am working on being authentic. Being where I am.
The last couple of days I've felt so much disparity. I am thinking it is because I'm working through things and that I've broken out if my shell of ( Read more... ) -
19 May 2013
LJ ate the post I was working on. I guess that's alright. It was me working out the fact that I'm not going to get much better than where I am right now. The C-PTSD is far too deeply embedded. Growing up in a home where I thought either of my patents would snap and kill me at any moment left deep scars. I don't think I was scared of death inasmuch ( Read more... ) -
14 May 2013
A dear friend of mine is journaling and meditating every morning. I think it is a good goal for me, too.
I know that journaling is very good for me. I do better on the days I talk to someone, write or email what's going on in my life.
The best thing about LJ is that I can publish from my iPhone and I also have control over my entries. If something ( Read more... ) -
March 11, 2013
I thought I would check in :)
Since my auntie J passed I've had a hard time. Not inasmuch as because of the loss of a family member whom I've known all my life, but also someone who was my friend.
Last year I was researching my maternal line. In the search I found one of our lines came from Normandy. When I found that Auntie J was visiting Northern ( Read more... ) -
*sigh*
As I went about my day today, it occurred to me that sometime in August, before I went on Zoloft, I had a similar situation as last weekend. I got to the point where I was just tired of everything, especially the constant anxiety. So, I took some lorazapam and some tylenol with codeine. I took just a couple of pills on one day and then some on the ( Read more... ) -
November 27th
Today I got on the ball!
made therapy appointment
could not find the card for David's doc appt. so I found it
could not find the appointment info for David's eye appointment, so I called
called my friend E to find out who her doctor is because this doctor seems to know how to handle depression and mental issues more than my current PCP
Called and ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
If there was any way, at all, that I could just go to sleep and not wake up, I would. -
the sweetest thing
The family rented a dvd from the show St Elsewhere. It is one of those medical dramas that was on tv. In 1982 I watched an episode called "Cora and Arnie". It involves a homeless couple who are devoted to each other, beyond survival. Granted, Arnie has some issues and is childlike because of his years in the mental institution. Cora ran away when ( Read more... ) -
New Drugs on Board!
Went to the doctor yesterday and now I am on the generic version of Zoloft. I think I am going to try to get a therapy appointment.
Truth be told, I wonder if it has something to do with wheat. I broke down and started eating bread and noodles and it was later that I started to feel better emotionally. So, maybe I was having some withdrawal? Maybe ( Read more... ) -
It's my LJ I can whine if I want to
Well things are not good on my end. I had the brilliant idea that I no longer needed my antidepressant. Partially because it had a side effect that caused some sexual dysfunction, which was not an issue before February.
I think I would be doing much better if my mother wasn't ill. But she is. The weight is too much for me. It is all on me. I'm here ( Read more... )