By 4:00 pm my throat is burning from holding back tears all day

My eyes are heavy from lost sleep the night before

My head is aching from my hair being pulled up and unwashed for a week or is it longer now

Or is it hurting from trying to focus in meetings about things that feel so much smaller than

my kids hearts breaking

buying groceries next ( Read more... )

I recently told a new parent, "Welcome to the land of there never having enough of anything ever again." It was meant be encouraging, as in, we are all doing our best and come up short. But really when you are a parent there is never enough money, time, wisdom, energy.

And this is the part of this journal where I have to remember this is for me and ( Read more... )

Is this thing on?

Last week Live Journal informed me via email that we had been together for 22 years! I was surprised to hear this as I had COMPLETELY forgotten about LJ, but oh the DEEP dive that ensued once I got logged back in. One of my first entries I ever made said "Peggy said to remember that Live Journal is for me." I need somethings that ( Read more... )

My grandfather lived with us for periods of time during my childhood and in my adult years and he wasn't always in his right mind. He once called 911 because he thought someone had poisoned my brother, who was simply napping. He also has severe OCD. Shaving was an hour long task. He was bald and wore an aviator's cap to bed. Sometimes in the ( Read more... )

I am upside down today. If you could see me you would laugh out loud. My head is down by the floor and my feet are in the clouds, which does me no good since that is the only part of me that is in the clouds. It’s miserable actually, being dragged around by a cloud. My head bashing into file cabinets and tables. My cloud is floating just a ( Read more... )

I’m never at a loss for words but my husband wishes I was ( Read more... )

I have a stack of work on my desk. It’s being held down by my cell phone as my fan blows the edges of the papers. It’s warm and windowless in here, dimly lit and homey. The work isn’t even as bad as it could be. Well some of it is, manual writing and reports, but the rest is phone calls to people I actually like and a few articles that need ( Read more... )

Whenever I move I have some variation of the same delusional thought. I tell myself I’ll get all unpacked and situated and then we will have a big party with a lighted deck, and I will run around barefoot in a flattering A line dress serving trendy appetizers while Mosiah grills Jerk Chicken. And then we will invite people to come on the weekend ( Read more... )

Long ago, before the internet, I lived in Chicago. I had just broken free of my family ties and was living on my own for the first time. There were many new freedoms that came with my liberation, one of them was the ability to listen to whatever music I wanted. It was an awkward stage, kind of like a late puberty, in which devoured albums, ( Read more... )

There is really only one flaw with Livejournal...it's online ( Read more... )