oh my head feels 2 sizes too big, but i must say, i did have a fun night...i like having friends. i think i slept wrong or something cuz i cant move my left arm, it was such a mission just to get dressed.

its valentines day and i have such mixed messages... half of me wants to forget about all the recent problems and be happy, and the other half of me feels like a horrible person and guilty for wanting to be happy.

well that happened so fucking quick... why am i so stupid for, i never should have started anything with him. now he hates me. i fucking deserve it.

I'm gonna hurt him, I know I will. I dont care for him like he deserves. I dont love him and I cant tell him that. I like him; I dont love him. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say to him. I have such a weird feeling in my stomach; my stomach is not in knots or in my throat. I read my new bible last night and I've been praying all day ( Read more... )

all i can do is cry, and listen to what God has to say to me.

i think i'm good now. so many long conversations with a few certain people and now i feel so much better. i really like where things are going with jordan and my friends will always be my friends. thats all i wanted to say.

so i just had an experience not too long ago and now i'm kinda upset / uncomfortable / my head hurts, so i just thought i'd write a little something ( Read more... )

i'm so confused right now. i have one feeling one time and a different feeling another time. i dont know how to handle it. i just want both. but i will never forget; you're too important to me to forget, thats my promise to you. what i earlier confessed, from my heart, will always be true, no matter what happens. i have such a sad feeling in my ( Read more... )

sadie my love, the tears streaming down my face at this moment are for you. i'm gonna miss you so much. please get better soon, and come visit me often. i know david will take care of you.

its strange how good things can come from bad or sad things. today was my nonna's funeral; i helped carry the casket and even read at the church later. i didnt cry once because i knew she was in a better place with no pain or suffering, well okey i cried once. only in the morning when they closed the casket and it was for good...my mom was crying ( Read more... )