i weighed myself yesterday morning. 117. praise the lord. never going to be over 120 ever again.

feeling filled with a yet half-unfinished plate is the best feeling ever. and feeling half-empty when going to bed, to wake up feeling thin. *sigh* ♥

my stomach is the enemy.

i fast and fast, and ignore it. i fill it with water and nothing else and feel wonderfuli can prepare food for others, chopping and boiling and stirring and not feel the slightest bit of hunger ( Read more... )

what kind of ed-nos am i?! i fast for a few days, then binge crazily.

i hate myself.

dinner is my least favourite thing in the wide world. i can't wait to get back to school where no one forces me to eat. i had been doing so well....

yesterday i ate 167 calories. i went to bed hungry, woke up hungry. spent all of today consuming nothing but water. nothing. i took a bath and felt my hipbones protruding above the surface of ( Read more... )

so today was a "normal" eating day. "normal" meaning like every other "normal" obese person in this country. i went out for lunch - mexican [fried fats and sour cream], but i got a relatively small [in size] meal. it was taquitos... tiny portions of meat rolled up in corn tortillas and fried. i put lots of spicy salsa on it ( Read more... )

good god. my friend and i got stoned and we ended up going to denny's. shit. i'm a shit-faced fat-assed loser. i swear, my bf is going to dump me if i don't lose this weight like now.

god, i hate myself.

i was doing awesomely. i'd eaten beef boullion all day, and green tea, and then i blew it. i fucking blew it, just like i always fucking blow it. the 'rents forced me to eat dinner with them. chicken & broccoli in some sort of calorific white creamy sauce. my stomach swelled up like a balloon.

i'm disgusting.

liquids diet. right now, beef boullion & green tea. 5 calories. pure liquids today and tomorrow definitely; will see what happens when bf is here. he eats alot and expects me to do the same, i guess. maybe i can feign stomachache. anyways, i'm allowing soups whenever i'm out - this evening we were at the diner and i got pancakes [dear god] ( Read more... )

so all day i can eat nothing. then i have to eat dinner with the fam, but i can get away with eating very little of that if i say that i had a big lunch or something. however, later in the evening i go nuts and pig out for some weird reason. ugh, i hate it. see today ( Read more... )

sunday i binged like crazy on sandwiches, junk food, pancakes.

yesterday i consumed no more than 150 calories.

today all that's entered my mouth has been green tea, coffee, and a yoghurt parfait.

[keep it up]