3 Fathoms Down ☠ Fourth Wall/Action

[lists_to_port]

[Jack? Is drinking in Good Spirits. He might be really potted at this point. Also he has no idea what is going on.]

Comments

[brewducation]

[Hey captain, that bottle of alcohol that you're drinking from? The one those little white blobs are coming out of? Yeah, they're there.

Are you drunk?]

[lists_to_port]

.......Am I drunk?

[brewducation]

[No, you're not drunk. Or maybe you are, 'cause they're looking right. At. YOU.]

Ah, it's a shaggy-looking human. Who are you?

[lists_to_port]

We're Jack Sparrow, mate. Captain Jack Sparrow. And yourself?

[ellojellohello]

[Suddenly, next to you in the bar there is a jello mold. It's rum raisin, Jack. And it's staring at you.]

Rum raisin can kiss my ass.

[lists_to_port]

[Jack is trying to ignore this rum raisin jello mold, because he is not certain whether or not it is the kind of jello mold that manifests from madness, or the other kind.

Which also manifests from madness.]

[ellojellohello]

[Staring at yooooooooooou, Jack.

Not even for the rum, mate? Give it a chance?]

[lists_to_port]

You realize, rum cake, that if I have my way with you and devour you, you'll cease to exist?

[bearingevil]

[Sanosuke's already in the bar when Jack gets there. How about a somewhat normal conversation?]

Hey. You're the guy that stole the boat.

[lists_to_port]

[Jack looks up. An actual person! Who....just called him out on stealing a boat.]

I've stolen many, many boats in my time, son.

[bearingevil]

[Somehow, Sanosuke is less than surprised at this development. But yes, a person! With wings! And also sake, because sake is good.]

The boat here, in Luceti. Unless you've stolen more than one of those, too.

I was the guy asking if you planned on giving it back.

[lists_to_port]

Ah, yes---I seem to recall your very odd question. Of course I didn't plan on giving her back, boy. Ridiculous notion, that.

[iamonacow]

[Suddenly a monster slowly rises up from behind the bar wearing a bath towel.] Hello there. Now look at yourself. Now back to me. Now back to you. Now BACK to me. Sadly you do not smell like a monster.

[lists_to_port]

Now that's an unpleasant figment. Clearly I have not yet drunk enough yet, because Buffy has never looked that bad before.

[iamonacow]

Now that is very rude! I'll have you know that I am a cute and adorable monster!

[lists_to_port]

Well so's Buffy! She's just never been this blue! Or furry!

[toasterciiide]

[And suddenly, a toaster on the bar.]

Howdy doodly do. How's it going?

[lists_to_port]

[Finally, an inanimate object that has offered to listen!]

Well how much time do you have? My life, it's rather a shambles at the moment, mate.

[toasterciiide]

Well, that's no good. Luckily I have just the thing that will make it all better!

[lists_to_port]

Oh, you do, do you? And what would that be, my curiously sentient clockwork?