Fossil update

[nicey_nicey]

So there I was, at Trader Joe’s buying some duck meat, when I reached into my back pocket and I found this electronic thinger with buttons and earwax stuck in the keys. Wowee, zowee! My feedleashermabobber! Life’s been tough on Uncie Fossil lately - for instance, muh hair - positively wilted lately. The summer humidity usually gets it all puffed up

Comments

[silverhorseshoe]

The constrictor dropped the blasted suit and you've wanted until just now to tell me? I've thought you were in prison or dead all these months. Rather, I hoped you were in prison or dead all these months.

Oh, and I've sold the City Farm and you were included in the price. You now belong to Anthrax, aka my Dark Sister.

[nicey_nicey]

will Anthrax spank my lily-white heiny til it turns as red as a fire truck?

[silverhorseshoe]

Certainly You disgust me.

[anthrax_neon]

Only if you're very, very bad.

[king_of_mods]

get lost! there ain't no way the hair on your head is doing what mine does.

[bikinuswax]

Since when is there Trader Joe's in London? Don't play crazy games with my tastebuds.

[nicey_nicey]

sorry, i meant Waitrose... got 'em confused since they rhyme

[bikinuswax]

Wait... so it's you who's the other American with a leash on a feed?

[well_bum]

I think I saw a pic of you somewhere, yeah? Were you on the news or shit?

[anthrax_neon]

Ah, Robert.

You belong to me now. Please report to the zoo at sundown tomorrow, where you shall be fitted with a uniform and given your list of tasks.

You are to be my new dogsbody and footstool. I shall rest young virgins upon your hideous back when I take their tender throats into my mouth.

I trust this meets with approval?

[nicey_nicey]

hey sounds good to me!

just dont crush the pocket cup when you have the virgins on muh back, yeah?

[anthrax_neon]

'Pocket cup'?

How would you like to sip thick red wine from a silver chalice, dear Robert?

[nicey_nicey]

uhhh sure! i like chalices!!!!!! they are my favorite species of fish!!