Story: Woven Secrets

[little_grey_owl]

Title: Woven Secrets
Warnings: slight violence
Words: 820
Written for brigits_flame  week 1, November 2009 (China)
Setting: China + Japan around 300 AD

Comments

[quill_quirks]

I like how the story folds the two time lines together right up to the end. Great job!

[little_grey_owl]

Thank you, I was a bit worried about the flashbacks.

[darthneko]

I liked this a lot! It starts off so normal sounding, and then the flashback drags it through an about-face twist. Short, but resolved by the end. Really well done!

[little_grey_owl]

I'm glad you liked it! The flashbacks seemed like the best way to fit all my ideas into an acceptable format, though I wasn't quite sure if it had worked out alright. :-)

[little_grey_owl]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the ending, I was afraid it might not fit in entirely with the beginning.

[shashigai]

Nicely done, especially the end. I wondered about the butterflies, though. I thought silkworms became moths? :P I guess they don't see moths as pests in China. I wish the ones that ate up all my sweaters had made silk.

[little_grey_owl]

You're right, they are moths. I fixed that little mistake, thanks! It really is too bad that not all moth species are as useful to humans as silkworms are... ;-)

[der_verstand]

I found it interesting how the story begins so innocently and then it takes an unsuspecting turn to find that they are actually being held captive. The transition from present to past was very well done. I also liked how you kept it very matter of fact and avoided letting it become some sympathy story. I think this was definitely more effective. I enjoyed reading it. :)

[little_grey_owl]

Thank you for your great review! I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story.