This is my way of easing my guilty feelings for not writing here anymore... I need to say an official goodbye for my own sake, or I'll just keep on feeling bad for not writing in my LJ more. There are many reasons, but mainly it feels like my LJ is too related to old times and old feelings. Feelings that have been important to bring me to who I am ( Read more... )

Some days I want nothing more than to carry a child.

I'm glad I'm going out with a woman. Had I had a man in my life on days like these I would have him impregnate me instantly. Which would have been totally inconvenient, considering my non-existing finances and these damn academic ideals of mine.

There's a panicy anxiety crawling under my skin and in my head. Mostly about that fucking essay I was supposed to write a year ago. I have a thousand and one reasons for not finishing it. In the end it comes down to the choice of subject, I guess. The subject I picked a year ago didn't work. Metaphors are really exciting to think of and analyze, ( Read more... )

singing karaoke online is so much more fun than packing ( Read more... )

but I did. And then I changed my mind.

I deleted last entry, I felt silly reading it.

F and I have decided to break completely for a while. He knows me better than anyone else and I know him better than anyone else, but we have become strangers. He's my best friend in the whole world but we need to move on and let each other go. It hurts and I miss ( Read more... )

My grandad (paternal) called me last night. I think it's the first time ever that he's contacted me directly. I don't like him. I don't know him. I'm not interested in knowing him either, he's been out of my life more than in it. When my dad had died he phoned my mum a lot. I was at her house a lot, so occasionally we spoke. He rang the day we were ( Read more... )

The secret behind successful blogging is just opening the post-form and start writing... the rest will follow. Here we go ( Read more... )

Fall is usually my favourite time of year. But suddenly it feels all winterish and I'm starting to panic. What happened to this year? Where was my summer? Where was my spring? Where was last winter? It's been an eventful year, and still is. An emotional rollercoaster. Where will it end? Even an end has a start.I'm slowly getting settled in my new ( Read more... )

I can't decide whether to keep writing here or not. I miss writing, I really do. I just can't make up my mind how much I want to share on here, since I don't have enough friends on LJ for it to be any point to make it friends only. And I totally do over-use the pronoun "I". Well, well. Things to work on ( Read more... )

Events. Quite a busy summer. As I didn't finish my essay/thesis for my BA during the semester, I have to do it now, whilst working to survive the summer. As spring was so messy for me, I really didn't get anywhere at all on it. And as I found out I can't count my English course from London towards my degree, I have to finish off an old course + ( Read more... )