All I want is to eat, drink, sleep and have sex. Finally, I am and life is simple again.

I'm not sure when was the last time I wrote in here. I'm not sure it's a good idea to start again. It seems with every new page new problems arise. Eh ( Read more... )

It's late Friday night. I was supposed to be on a bus back to NYC, but plans changed. Morgan's driving me up tomorrow morning so we can sleep together tonight and so I don't have to pay the bus fare. She's in bed right now talking on the phone with some new chick she's been hanging out with. Is it wrong of me to be a little jealous? Well, I am ( Read more... )

I can't remember the last time I wrote in here. I'm thinking it was before the move to NY. The second time around. That all seems so long ago. I'm glad that it does. It means I've been living much since that time. I was in such a bad place back then. I'm grateful though for those tough times. I've learned a lot about myself and much of what ( Read more... )

"The Best Deceptions ( Read more... )

"The Brilliant Dance ( Read more... )

I'm missing Kelley. I'm not sure what to do about it. I can't call her because I can't. I promised myself I'm not going to call her again. I've been purposely using up my phone line in case she calls me because I don't have to the strength to not pick up or the strength to tell her I can't talk ( Read more... )

Is it bad that I was up at 5:30 am on a Saturday morning thinking of Kelley? Yeah, I thought so. It wasn't entirely my fault. I went to a mini sleep over at M's. We went to bed relatively early, but then I dunno what happened, we both just woke up and started talking and kinda just lying there not saying what was really on our minds. I was ( Read more... )

Yesterday when I wrote that Kelley doesn't fit into my life and probably never will, I wasn't being completely honest. I love Kelley. I mean, I really really love her. I love her stupidly and it makes me insane. I can't stay mad at her, but I can stay hurt at her for months and months. I know it's not a healthy relationship. I know that she's ( Read more... )

Patching things up. I came back home because that's what I needed. I needed to be here in this depressing state for a little while. I need my family more than I care to admit. I've missed my sisters and my father. I've missed so much. Kelley knows I spent most of my days/nights crying over them and over my mother. I'd go for walks and talk ( Read more... )