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I'm just here because I don't have anyone to talk to. It sounds so overly dramatic, but there isn't anyone in my life who hasn't made it abundantly clear that I'm their lowest priority. Those closest to me have repeatedly told me I'm making things up, but revelations (admissions) have shown me that's not true. I can't fine any reason to think I ( Read more... ) -
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The past few years have sucked. Royally. I let myself be convinced that I didn't matter. That of course your husband and best friend heading out to party when you've finally opened up about your suicidal thoughts is perfectly normal and acceptable. But with Scott's tearful acknowledgment that he recognizes that he's been horrible to me for some ( Read more... ) -
Today
I woke up sore. And confused. The remnants of a tough race well run and a most perfect evening with those I love best. I looked about in my fog, wondering where Scott had gotten off to at such an early weekend hour.
I reached for the dress I use as lounge ware and pulled it over my head while trying to shake off some amount of the fog clouding my ( Read more... ) -
OH hey
Glad to see some old faces. Maybe I'll try to get back in the habit of stopping by slightly more often.
Just not today. I have nothing to say today that's positive. -
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I am thrilled to finally remember my password and find that people I believed to long ago quit posting, well, posting.
I am not, however, thrilled to see the just barely positive Oregon test on my bedside table. Scott is upstairs in our bed. I'm downstairs in our guest bed both because its an awesome mattress that doesn't make my legs ache, and also ( Read more... ) -
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Shitty night. Guess it's time to drug myself to sleep. -
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posting this here from an email I sent to someone so that I know where to find it when I need a good cry.
My birth story is the one that people don't want to hear. It's the one without a happy ending. It's a story that makes my closest friends uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to back away from our friendship. Or remain silent around me, ( Read more... ) -
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focus on the positive
focus on the positive
focus on the positive
focus on the positive
focus on the positive
focus on the positive -
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Sigh. -
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I really shouldn't be allowed near my computer when I have a pint glass of wine in hand. Seriously, a pint glass.
I'm insanely excited to be done with this whole 2011 year from hell.