Been on here 15 years now. Still struggling with food and weight every day. Currently at my heaviest of 12 stone 7 lbs and feel disgusting. I feel bulimia is on its way home. X

A lot has changed since my last post.

I'm in a relationship and have been for over 2 years now. His name is Felix and he is my rock. We aren't perfect, just perfect for eachother! I love him to bits and I'm almost certain he does too <3

On the food side of thinks... I hit a massive gain last year of 12 stone 8 lbs... OMG.... but i'm getting back on ( Read more... )

OK, so it's time to sort my life out really. I'm 23 and a bit lost. I have goals in mind, but now need to put them into action. I need to stop depending on others for help & motivation, and start to get a bit of control over myself - things will only happen if you make them.

I am starting a new diet/ exercise plan on monday - and when I say diet, I ( Read more... )

Look so disgusting, but at least the numbers are now starting to move in the right direction. x

( Read more... )

so whilst i remember, my weight has recently gone up to 9.8 stone, but today is 9.3.

Hitting a real low at the minute, like I don't even see the point in anything anymore. I have no job, possibly no horse if he is sold this week, and potentially could be losing my home, all because I house share with tramps who are looking for trouble.

Haven't had ( Read more... )

Day one of recovery.. not the best of starts. Feel very stuffed and a bit adgitated. weigh 9 stone exactly. Trying to keep busy so i don't think about it too much. but here's to getting fat!

alone in a room full of people

lost in a familiar place

mind's endlessly drifting

staring into space

awake til the early hours

the night then rolls into the day

should be out there living life,

not shutting yourself away.

blue in a room full of colour

surrounded by guilt and shame

trapped in the maze of your mind

don't want to play the game

So it's yet again been a while. since my last post i have worked for 5 months on a show jumping yard, where i now live - however it didn't really work out, so i've decided to make my handmade cards a full time business, and have also started making candles aswell. i'd say up until recently i'd been eating ok.. well not ok .. but chocolate and crap ( Read more... )

relived and mortified at the same time, my friend/boss laura has clicked on. had to go and see a doctor yesterday who said i have bulimia.. who knows ( Read more... )

i think i have a problem
my problem's name is E.D
sometimes i think i'm fine
until these thoughts get in my head.
just have a little self control
put down your knife and fork
go, step on the scales
i think we need a little talk.
you've gained 2 lbs since yesterday
you unworthy fat shit
now stick your fingers down your throat ( Read more... )