I haven't written in what seems ages and so much has happened between then and my last post. I completed and handed in my dissertation which topped out at 9,037 words. I also am revising for my last of of this 4-year degree on the 1st of June, which astonishes me. And I have grown by leaps and bounds ( Read more... )

The first mistake was meeting G so late in the evening for drinks without having eaten any dinner. The second was holding hands in the pub and the rest of the evening, yeah big mistake. I can hardly believe what happened but I was swept up in the moment. I enjoyed kissing him again, I enjoyed his touch and I enjoyed having sex with him again. But ( Read more... )

Today has been a lot better than yesterday. I am still mildly simmering over the whole thing but slowly coming to the acceptance bit of the grieving process. I wrote a three page letter to G which I didn't send but it felt good anyway. Thankfully, a great friend of mine from the States spoke to me for three hours on Skype and cheered me up ( Read more... )

I got an emergency text from G about finances so had to call him. Turns out he hasn't really been budgeting and the joint account is overdrawn. I called the bank with him in one ear and me in the other going over all of the outgoings, very few of which were mine. He told me he just didn't realise the impact and gets paid on Wednesday. I was livid. ( Read more... )

There is still no contact with G and J. I did call G when it was reported a protester had died at the G20 demo but then told him I wanted to maintain no contact - a request he has respected. I went to a student conference up north and had a great time. Most of the alcohol and food was paid for. Imagine my great surprise when I managed to seduce and ( Read more... )

The two ( Read more... )

After having not spoken to G since last Thursday and J since Friday I am already feeling better. I still have little tinges of pain every now and again, feeling guilty for cutting them off and feeling upset at the thought that they might be upset at not having me around but then I remember that I need to do what is best for me at all costs right ( Read more... )

it took me so long to realise that it's ok to feel grief at the loss of the relationship with G without feeling like I am not being a good friend or a good person to him if I were to cut contact. By what logic I have been thinking that up to this point is beyond me. J sent me a text today saying he cared about me very deeply but could only offer ( Read more... )

This week has been a mad roller coaster for a number of reasons. On Tuesday I had my second date with AB and realised that after having a perfectly pleasant evening, that I just didn't fancy him. It's unfortunate, he was a nice enough guy, and perhaps it was subsequent events that made me reassess things but I canceled our third date scheduled for ( Read more... )

Well... it's not like I ever really dated to begin with but this guy, AB, who I met at the polyamory meet up in February finally asked me to go out properly. We had what I guess was a date last night. He's pretty cool, anarchist, has a girlfriend in Glasgow who is also poly and was brilliant for conversation. J had called me earlier in the day so I ( Read more... )