TREMBLE BEFORE LONO'S IMPRESSIVE IMPRESSIVENESS!

LONO NOW DONS HIS HAT OF SPIKY AWESOME!

FETCH THE FINE LADIES! LONO COMMANDS!

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Barbarian (10th Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-19

Dexterity-19

Constitution-20

Intelligence-20

Wisdom-20

Charisma-19

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good ( Read more... )

MORTALS, PREPARE ( Read more... )

AND LO, DID THE SUPPLICANTS TO LONO'S WHIM SUBMIT TO LONO GREAT AND BOUNTIFUL OFFERINGS OF TARGETED MEDIA SAVY!

THE VERY HEAVENS DID TREMBLE BEFORE LONO'S MAJESTIC MARKET PENETRATION! ALL 18-34's SHALL NOW BOW TO THE WILL OF LONO! LONO IS GREATEST LONO RULES ALL!

ALSO!

PRAISE BE TO drucifer35, SUBMITTER OF WINNING SLOGANS! 1ST AMONG SCRAWNY MORTALS IS ( Read more... )

LONO IS HIP! LONO IS WITH IT! LONO IS A DEITY FOR THE PEPSI GENERATION ( Read more... )

LONO IS VICTORIOUS OVER PUNY WINTER! 63 DEGREES IN BOSTON TODAY! YOU ARE WELCOME!

ALOHA MY PALE NEW ENGLAND WORSHIPERS! IT IS I, LONO, RETURNED AMONGST YOU! YOU HAVE CRIED OUT TO LONO! YOU HAVE BEATEN YOUR BREASTS IN WOE FROM LONO'S ABSENCE! BITTER TEARS HAVE STREAMED FROM YOUR EYES HAVING SOUGHT LONO ON EVERY HORIZON AND IN EVERY PASSING CLOUD! BUT OH NO, LONO WAS NOT TO BE FOUND ( Read more... )

MORTALS! TREMBLE FOR I AM MOST THOROUGHLY MIFFED! HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE TODAY?! THERE IS NO ALOHA TO BE FOUND IN GIANT WHITE SNOWFLAKES! IT IS FREAKING APRIL! BUT WAIT, MAYBE THIS WAS SOME UNAVOIDABLE FUNCTION OF NATURAL WEATHER PATTERNS ( Read more... )

TREMBLE, PALE NEW ENGLAND MORTALS, FOR I AM LONO! LONG HAVE YOU SUFFERED THE MEANINGLESS ONSLAUGHT OF WINTER! BUT NO MORE! THROUGH LONO YOU SHALL HAVE ETERNAL WARMTH AND FREE FLOWING BOOZE! VIRGINS APLENTY SHALL ATTEND YOU AND BABY DOLPHINS SHALL SWIM EVER AT YOUR SIDE! THE BLESSINGS OF LONO ARE BOUNTIFUL AND WONDROUS ( Read more... )