I have to have dinner with my dad's family tomorrow. I get the distinct impression that the only reason he wants me to go is to show me off against his siblings' kids ( Read more... )

I am tired. I am angry.
I have no clue what to do besides fight, but that doesn't ever get me anywhere.
And changing the entire world all by yourself might be a bit dificult.

Please, don't let this be just summer long.

I don't want it to be senior year and I don't want to leave and if I screw up my face and stamp my feet it will not happen.
    I love summer. I'll miss it. I'll miss the simplicity, the lack of need. I don't have to work so hard. I don't have to solve any problems. I can just read and learn at my own ( Read more... )

I don't think it matters. Honestly. When people to think of me, I want them to think of someone who tried with everything she had to live thoroughly. I don't want them to think of me as stressed, or unhappy, or tired.

Because I'm not. Stress goes away. So does unhappiness. I'm not tired.

I'm satisfied with this. I'm finally happy with this.

Because, ( Read more... )

You know what I want?
A guy I don't have to dumb myself down for.
Someone actually worth falling for.
*sighs sadly*

I've decided that being depressed over my parents' divorce and my lack of a family is okay. As long as I don't let my sadness define me or overwhelm me, it's fine. 
I've also decided that college isn't that important. I can get into college, I'm worthy of the colleges I want to go to. It's just a matter of whether or not I want to go to college ( Read more... )

Life is good. Mostly ( Read more... )

I'm stressed.
Okay, I know, nothing new, right?
But honestly? I'm going a little crazy. Not just "around the edges" crazy, but flat out crazy.

...It's kinda fun.

For example--I know Trae is a flirt. I know this and therefore I should avoid him like the plague. But no, I flirt back. Stupidity? No. Just insanity.

Another good example--I'm looking forward ( Read more... )

I don't want anyone to love me right now! Not in any way!
I'm mean and I'm selfish and I'm cruel, and I don't deserve love and I don't deserve charity.
So no more "With loves" and no more "love yous" because that's just...silly!

"Chez, you are doing so good...I know that you can do it.  I think you are the best, I think that you are a great leader and in many ways better than others.  I think that you have a true vision of what CV should be, could be, and will eventually be.  Knowing many of the other possibilities I'm not so sure anyone else has that vision... so I say ( Read more... )