I got a notification that I've been on this site for 20 years, today.

It has been a long, strange journey.

In this latest leg, after much belly-aching and worry, I have now secured housing and a student teaching position in Niagara Falls.  I'll be working with the extensive Theatre program at Niagara Falls High School - a sprawling, relatively new ( Read more... )

My father was admitted to the hospital a week ago, Tuesday.  He's been in there, dealing with congestive heart failure, and now, due to the bad communication between his doctors, potential kidney and bladder failure.

I took last week off of work to help, running errands for my mother, taking notes about my father's care, maintaining things for the ( Read more... )

Started a new job 2 weeks ago, working as a TA in a local reform school.  While I was anticipating, based on what I was told in my many interviews for this job, high-needs kids who weren't up to regular school, I did not anticipate the rampant violence, verbal abuse and physical assaults on my person that I would come to find out were part and ( Read more... )

So here we are in 2021.  Things remain mostly locked down, though I will be returning to work tomorrow, in person, to a point.  I'll be in the building, but teaching Theatre classes from a studio remotely, rather than going to each and every classroom as the predicted spikes of COVID rage on.

It's been a most welcome change for me to be reassigned ( Read more... )

Head walled from the heart.

Go weave around, below, through

Like in a vineyard

A lesson I wish I had learned much earlier ( Read more... )

Yes, there are still times when I feel romantically lonely and consider taking up the sexual offers several coworkers have given me in the past few weeks.

Then I remember that the last date I went out on left me with a broken jaw, 8 shattered teeth and thousands of dollars in bills.

So it's been nearly a year since my suicidal breakdown and my return to Albany from NYC. A year of sleeping in my childhood room. A year of learning a whole new job. A year of living without "the dream" and only the barest of hopes for a solid future. It's been both a long year and a fast one ( Read more... )

Not sure why my latest entry was deleted.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/comics-that-capture-the-frustrations-of-depression

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.That's what Dante says is posted up above the main entrance to Hell.  I suspect it was also posted above the entrance I took into this world.  I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that I've spent the last two years in an inescapable state of depression.  At least.  Two years of hating my life.  Two years of ( Read more... )