Fuck fuck fuck fuck shit sjit shit fuck fuckbfuck

Even though i promised not to kill myself does that mean i cant just lie down in traffic and just see what happens.

I hate everything about my life and myself and im powerless to do anything about it.

The great thing about not drinking is that when you do drink its pretty much instant intoxication. Even though i deserve this. Even though I deserve to feel this way. Even though im the only one i can be mad at tonights not the night. tonight we drink
Tonight we drink. Tomorrow we feel.

livejournal only exsists for cryptic whining right?

i feel like even after a year of therapy im no better off now than i was then. why am i not allowed to just be a ball of anti-social. I used to be an out going friendly kinda guy. now i never wanna leave my house. if anything im more reclusive now then ever.

whatever. this makes no sense. igs late.

good job Iccarus..

Hate

Turns out the way out of this hole is not to keeep digging.

leaving for ten days to Tennessee for work. any effort on any of your parts to alleviate my boredom will be greatly appreciated

There is something fundamentally wrong with me. Therapy hasnt helped at all. If anything its just made me more aware of my shortcomings. Im just incapable of change good or bad. Bleh. Itts lateand im insane. Ive been having very vivd dreams about people from my past and its very unsettling. Its so bad im unable to focus on anything except how bad ( Read more... )

For the first time in my adult life I truly feel hopeless. There is nothing I can do to really further my situation and theres nothing I can feasibly do to change that at the moment. Such a shitty feeling.