So, I decided that it was in my best interests to make my journal friends only. I left a few of my posts un-private so that you all can get an idea of who I am and what kind of things I write about.

If you're interested in reading my recent posts, please feel free to request to add me as a friend. It would also be nice if you'd send me a message, ( Read more... )

I just finished watching American Beauty. Wow. I think the purpose of that movie is to teach you that life is beautiful, and that you should live each day to its fullest. But after watching it, I just feel so...numb. I want to run down the streets screaming and beating and breaking things. I want the demons to fly out of my mouth and back into Hell ( Read more... )

 What is wrong with me?

Do I do this to myself? Am I the reason that I feel the things that I do? The reason that I do the things that I do?

I sleep all the fucking time. I hate it. I sleep at least twelve hours every night; last night I slept thirteen. And I woke up at 3:30pm and just cried. I wasn't even particularly sad. I just felt like I really ( Read more... )

Sav went to therapy with me today. It went pretty well. I talked to the therapist alone for a little while, then he did the same, and then we all went in the room together. I ended up crying because I've been so confused/frustrated/sad lately. I don't know what's going on with my relationship, but I am so fucking scared. I don't want to lose him. I ( Read more... )

I want to get incredibly high - so high that I don't care about anything...but I can't do that. I have more willpower than that. I haven't smoked marijuana in FOUR months and five days. Do you know how fucking hard it was to stop? I was one of those people who was constantly high, every day, all day. As soon as I came down from a high, I lit up ( Read more... )

"...Then the bridge disappears,
and I’m standing on air
with nothing holding me.
And I hang like a star,
fucking glow in the dark,
for all those starving eyes to see -
like the ones we’ve wished on.

Now I’m confused.
Is this death really you?
Do these dreams have any meaning?

No. No, I think it is more like a ghost
that has been following us both.
( Read more... )