003; Shadows of her Broken Heart// Part II
II
- The Aftermath or otherwise known as the many times she’s argued with Damon Salvatore.
~
“Fundamentally, all writing is about the same thing; it's about dying, about the brief flicker of time we have here, and the frustration that it creates”.
- Mordecai Richler
~
Under the cover of the velvety night the stars shine dimly and the forest around hums with deadly creatures of the night. Supernatural and the usual owl sounds make this place spooky because only the selected people, and really the only ones that matter in their story, know what it is which hides betweens the folds of the seemingly still night.
Inside a tacky small-town bar a couple of young adults sit having dinner, from a third-point view a spectator may assume that they are in love, that he is courting her and that she is falling for every single one of his moves because their smiles are bright, brighter that the stars billions of miles away, brighter than the new moon smiling at them from the cottage windows. His hand unconsciously moves closer to hers and they don’t really notice how in sync they are around the other, what really makes this poignant, though, is little things they do unconsciously, like moving napkins and swapping cutlery which re-enforces this picture of these young adults in love, if not beginning to realise it. An old couple may look at them and think “They’ll be just like us in a while, they won’t even notice where the time has gone”, a girl who happens to be on an unfortunate date may think “Why are they so perfect together and he won’t even make any effort, this is so awkward!” and a middle aged man may believe that “that young man over there doesn’t realise how lucky he is,” and he may even hope that he doesn’t “fuck it up,” because maybe at some point in this man’s life he was too on a ‘date’ of this sort, and he fucked it up..
On that low stooled, wooden table with a lamp hanging lowly over the top of their heads, the pair happen to have their first ever argument, and the only topic which may ever cause them to argue for real is: Stefan, and this first argument is sparked just by that same person. Admittedly, he would be a topic of many arguments to come but this one was particularly bad; she had been angry then sad and finally frustrated. Katherine was in town, and Stefan had gone on a date with her, Elena was hurt (because Stefan couldn’t tell the difference between herself and Katherine) and Damon was unreadable (but Elena really appreciated that Damon had known who was who.) This is how the argument starts: Damon and Elena are at the grill, both attempting to have fun, but mostly just enjoying each other’s company. Their minds are not filled with mirror versions of Elena, heartbreaks or relationships. (She thanks god for that because she doesn’t know how much of these mind games she can take) Whilst both of them have a drink and Elena eats dinner- she muses that some people may call it a date but they were just ‘hanging out’ (Elena finds that the sad thing is that, the first time she had smiled in days was when Damon suggested that they ‘hang out like the cool kids’... it was this grand gesture in her eyes of yet another way he cares.) Their banter is fast, witty and fun for them, so both are oblivious to the world. Obviously, Damon has to ruin it by making a snarky comment about Katherine and Stefan; it fires up hurt deep within her heart because Elena feels that in this case, for Stefan she will never be enough. Damon questions whether this life she chose with his brother is right for her, and if she feels that he’s enough to stimulate her senses. (He has been avoiding Katherine at all possible costs and therefore has watched too much television; apparently Elena’s life is now being compared to a chewing gum advert). However, when he asks her that implied question, she knows exactly what he means, what he’s truly trying to ask her. Maybe it scares her a little because she knows he can read her like an open book; but even though she has figured out what the real answer is (well pondered for hours upon hours about it, is more of the right description), still she lies to him, because he’s Damon and telling him the truth would never be good for anyone, including herself.
Yet, she certainly wasn’t Katherine… she wasn’t going to promise Damon a future with her then change her mind. She wasn’t going to leave both of them behind for a few hundred years either because she knows that both of the Salvatore brothers have had enough suffering and she was tired, too tired to think of whom she wanted to be with, so she lies to him about the “do you really want to be with my brother even though you are having a romantic dinner in a tacky place like this with his brother, even though you know that the said brother is openly and admittedly in love with you, and actually you are like Katherine if you pick Stefan-poo. So is it really enough?” question, “It’s enough for me!” She cries with frustration, maybe trying to convince herself more than him, her annoyance creeps in as she thinks he may know it.
Their quick, safe, banter has turned into a heavy silence. She knows he’s going to call her on her bullshit but she doesn’t really think he can make her see, or she make him. She does love Stefan, in her own way. He sighs; she can see him processing the recent events in his head, the wolves, Caroline and her newfound vampirism, the funeral, Stefan’s confusion with his life’s choices...
“Is it? Normalcy, he cannot give you. Immortality he’s not going to give you, he won’t be there… when you get old and wrinkly” Damon scrunches up his own nose, thinking it would be strange to see Elena old, and he is not used to this image- his mind knows the eternal, youthful image of Katherine which somewhat merges with Elena’s. Not to say that he doesn’t think of them as separate people, he does, the images however, he can’t control. “You think he sees the difference between you two?” He means her and Katherine, “He looks at you and he sees a better Katherine” it was a low blow, and Damon was very aware of that but he was getting increasingly annoyed with her. Why couldn’t he make her see things the way he saw them?
“That’s not true”, she protests, her forehead creases in confusion. She hasn’t thought of it this way, of course, it annoys her how she wasn’t enough for anyone, but deep down she knew that was simply down to her new-found self-esteem issues and her general state of mind right now.
“He sees the ability to nurture you, to protect his little, fragile Elena. You’re basically a human version of a china doll.” He brings his drink to his lips and sips leisurely, “God forbid something happens to his precious Elena.” He spits out, making her send him a questioning glance, as she thinks that they are beginning to tread dangerous waters. In fact, both of them had been drinking and in her opinion, it would be a shame to end this evening with spiteful words (whether true or not, it doesn’t particularly matter) All Elena knows is that she is frustrated with him, with Stefan and moreover with herself. She sighs heavily, studying his face for a minute. Damon’s face is calm, complete with the usual I-know-more-than-you look, that doesn’t surprise her, and she finds herself thinking about the recent events.
“What and you? You want to peel the layers of and explore and corrupt me?” She raises her eyebrows, not quite angry yet. (She was about three quarters of a way there, and both of them know it)
“I don’t need to corrupt you.” His simple statement sends an unwelcome chill up her spine, she’s not sure that his control over her body is such a good thing. She had made up her mind about them, (at least she was about ninety nine point nine percent sure of this), and this whole he-can-make-me-melt-with-a-simple-sparkle-of-the-eyes was not working for her because she was getting annoyed with herself for feeling like this... all confused and her insides tingling because of his mere presence. She kind of resented herself, for liking Damon more than Stefan, for resenting Stefan because he’d picked Katherine or was basically about to, and because her stupid pride was screaming at her to let him go (Stefan) and be happy, but she couldn’t, then Katherine would win, and Elena really couldn’t have that.
Basically, she was resenting everyone and everything and the effect that Damon had on her was beginning to frustrate her and to make her lash out at the said people whom she actually resented. This whole thought process made her angry with Damon, “I’d rather be somebody’s china doll than a twisted experiment to pass the time”, She says coolly, collecting her belongings off the table in a hurry.
“Where are you going?” His annoyance is evident in his husky voice. It had been a few days before Damon began to get confused about her sudden mood swings around him, at first he’d thought she was on her period but he couldn’t smell any blood so she was a mystery to him, and humans weren’t supposed to be this hard to understand, yet Elena was reaching a new high.
“Away from you.” At these cold words both of them realise how good of friends they had become and at the same time it is evident how blown up this argument is going to be… neither knows how the argument became so big in their little twisted version of a friendship. The bitterness both parties feel had not completely left either’s body. But, at the end of the night he is left alone for the rest of the night, before he picks up a bubbly blonde at the bar. He takes comfort in the fact that she looks nothing like Katherine or Elena, at that moment he was free of all the drama around him.
As Elena makes her way home she contemplates turning around and going back in there, finally when she makes her mind up and pulls into the restaurant she watches as Damon pulls the blonde into his own car, her heart shutters, but she isn’t really that surprised.
~
It was a pointless, grey day, which had made Elena neither happy nor unhappy. The weather was very bleak, and so was her mood and the general atmosphere around her. There was one very big question looming over her head but she didn’t want to think. Actually all she wanted to do was put a little bit of slow, soul-searching music on and write until her wrist ached and her whole body numb from being in the same position for so long.
She weighs her options, - life, the death; moral, un-moral, purgatory, hell, heaven?
- Really she doesn’t know where to begin; finally she gets up and takes out a photo of all of them at “The Grill”. Both tower over her, nice and tall but she can’t begin to compare. Elena stands up and paces and paces and paces… the images flicker in her mind, her choices, and her decisions, mostly her past.
She had to choose between two brothers, one sweet, caring; the other dark, yet also caring but in an unopened, secretive, seductive way, which made her want to explore him. What irritates her most is that she viewed Damon as a map, in the way that she could imagine herself being able to travel and travel around these new exciting countries or parts of him and be able to find out more about him, however, she can’t decide whether this little city map she’s got with Stefan is the best thing she can have. One “map” was safe and familiar, the other… not so much. Then she finds that this metaphor she chose for them then was possibly the stupidest thing she could’ve chosen and she finds herself chuckling at these memories, but she approves her own thoughts because she knows she had been thinking and comparing them for almost too long, so it is not surprise, really that she may had been going slightly crazy.
Her thoughts kick-start again, Stefan was good, he always called when he said he’d call, he would hold her hand and coo sweet things into her ear. She’s safe with him, he’s safe. Damon was… different. He was intriguing, he’d call her in the most unexpected time, he’d tell her everything he was thinking only using his eyes. He’d look out for her and pick up the pieces when Stefan couldn’t, and though she doesn’t like to admit it, Stefan did leave her and disappointed her a lot more than the average person, like say, Damon. But of course, Stefan was the safe choice. The choice which was already taken, and that was why she had to have him.
“If you want to reveal something, you have to hide it properly first,” she thinks ironically, and maybe she was always a little bit too much like Katherine to let Stefan go.
~
The couple lie on the sofa in the boarding house, neither really knows how they got to this place but her head is in on lap, they’d been discussing her relationship with Stefan (her favourite topic), Damon is already on a short fuse before she decides to change the topic Katherine, (re-paying the favour really, she was most certainly his most favourite topic).
“Maybe she’s just misunderstood?!” ponders Elena, referring to Damon’s now ex-love of his love, and her most hated enemy.
“Maybe this, maybe that,” he mimics her with disgust evident in the creases of his face, bitterness lacing his voice. The daggers he shoots down at her makes her stop momentarily, which then allows him to continue his little epiphany, “the problem with you, Elena,” he begins, lazily drawing the words out. “Is that you always want to find a shred of good in us, you have to get a glimpse to reassure yourself that we’re still human” He reaches for his glass on the right of him and swallows yet another gulp of his whisky, finishing what seems like a bottle-worth with that glass. He waits until his words sink in, and she watches his face set into a statuette-like glare. His left hand unconsciously strokes her long straight hair.
“The problem with you Damon” she mocks his tone and glares in turn, shifting her head closer towards his torso, her features set eerily like that of Katherine’s- a mixture of pleasure and anger (only her pleasure is in the movements of his hand and anger at his words) “you try to re-assure yourself that you aren’t human, you’re this” her words come quickly, and she pauses for quarter of a second to think of the most suitable way to say it, “this eternal piece of rock, and nobody can chip away the edges because you’re Damon Salvatore” in her frustration she lifts her arms up to emphasize her point and huffs out loud, he finds it mildly amusing because her position is awkward and her huffing raises her chest which just makes him grin down at her, a suggestive look on his face as he begins slowly scratching at her skull.
“What’s the fun in that, you twisting my words” his Cheshire-like smile makes her fume; she feels as if she is about to erupt because she wants to hit him so badly, her arm is twitching, but her eyes still roll to the back of her head.
“There we go again; the armour is back into place; why can’t you accept that it isn’t simple enough to just turn it off!” She exclaims, referring to his humanity, her voice is a soft, furious whisper.
They sit like that for several minutes, but lost within their position it feels like hours. “It is off” He says, talking about his humanity but his face is set in such a content look, her eyes fly open instantaneously and she’s tearing herself away from their intimate moment.
“So this caring side, is just an act? It’s just a ploy to get under Stefan’s skin?” her timid voice questions his intentions and for once Damon has to think of the right response. Even if his ‘humanity’ is off her doe eyes boring into his own always make the switch automatically turn on. He couldn’t tell her that’s it was all her fault- she made him feel.
“Yes.” He affirms, and tries to tell himself the friendship he had built up with Stefan’s girlfriend who looked like his supposed love of his life is only a way to get to Stefan. He snaps out of his thoughts and smiles cruelly (just like Katherine taught him) at her, “And don’t you think I deserve an Oscar for the part?” He smiles boyishly and pats her head in a patronizing manner.
She nods and gets up, somewhat hurt that he won’t tell her the truth and also very much confused about why she wants to learn the real truth. (Or what she thinks is the real truth because Elena refuses to believe every smile, touch, every moment they have spent together is a lie. She refuses to.)
Over her shoulder she mutters quietly, and turns to face his sitting form “I believe nobody ever gave her a chance so she feels that she has to corrupt everything she has in her possession, because she‘s been left so many times she doesn‘t see the hurt seeping through her façade“ she pauses, and lets the words sink in, his expression is questioning as if he‘s already forgotten that they were, again, arguing about Stefan but more so about Katherine‘s humanity “- she’s oblivious to this, and maybe one day you’ll realise that you two are the same, and if you don’t hold onto that humanity you’ll become completely lifeless, and then I won’t be there to care anymore, Damon and then you truly will be alone.” Her words feel like a sharp stake punching through his heart over a hundred times, each time he feels it filling up his chest and then leaving his dead heart, until finally there really is a big gaping hole in this lifeless organ.
I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII
- The Aftermath or otherwise known as the many times she’s argued with Damon Salvatore.
~
“Fundamentally, all writing is about the same thing; it's about dying, about the brief flicker of time we have here, and the frustration that it creates”.
- Mordecai Richler
~
Under the cover of the velvety night the stars shine dimly and the forest around hums with deadly creatures of the night. Supernatural and the usual owl sounds make this place spooky because only the selected people, and really the only ones that matter in their story, know what it is which hides betweens the folds of the seemingly still night.
Inside a tacky small-town bar a couple of young adults sit having dinner, from a third-point view a spectator may assume that they are in love, that he is courting her and that she is falling for every single one of his moves because their smiles are bright, brighter that the stars billions of miles away, brighter than the new moon smiling at them from the cottage windows. His hand unconsciously moves closer to hers and they don’t really notice how in sync they are around the other, what really makes this poignant, though, is little things they do unconsciously, like moving napkins and swapping cutlery which re-enforces this picture of these young adults in love, if not beginning to realise it. An old couple may look at them and think “They’ll be just like us in a while, they won’t even notice where the time has gone”, a girl who happens to be on an unfortunate date may think “Why are they so perfect together and he won’t even make any effort, this is so awkward!” and a middle aged man may believe that “that young man over there doesn’t realise how lucky he is,” and he may even hope that he doesn’t “fuck it up,” because maybe at some point in this man’s life he was too on a ‘date’ of this sort, and he fucked it up..
On that low stooled, wooden table with a lamp hanging lowly over the top of their heads, the pair happen to have their first ever argument, and the only topic which may ever cause them to argue for real is: Stefan, and this first argument is sparked just by that same person. Admittedly, he would be a topic of many arguments to come but this one was particularly bad; she had been angry then sad and finally frustrated. Katherine was in town, and Stefan had gone on a date with her, Elena was hurt (because Stefan couldn’t tell the difference between herself and Katherine) and Damon was unreadable (but Elena really appreciated that Damon had known who was who.) This is how the argument starts: Damon and Elena are at the grill, both attempting to have fun, but mostly just enjoying each other’s company. Their minds are not filled with mirror versions of Elena, heartbreaks or relationships. (She thanks god for that because she doesn’t know how much of these mind games she can take) Whilst both of them have a drink and Elena eats dinner- she muses that some people may call it a date but they were just ‘hanging out’ (Elena finds that the sad thing is that, the first time she had smiled in days was when Damon suggested that they ‘hang out like the cool kids’... it was this grand gesture in her eyes of yet another way he cares.) Their banter is fast, witty and fun for them, so both are oblivious to the world. Obviously, Damon has to ruin it by making a snarky comment about Katherine and Stefan; it fires up hurt deep within her heart because Elena feels that in this case, for Stefan she will never be enough. Damon questions whether this life she chose with his brother is right for her, and if she feels that he’s enough to stimulate her senses. (He has been avoiding Katherine at all possible costs and therefore has watched too much television; apparently Elena’s life is now being compared to a chewing gum advert). However, when he asks her that implied question, she knows exactly what he means, what he’s truly trying to ask her. Maybe it scares her a little because she knows he can read her like an open book; but even though she has figured out what the real answer is (well pondered for hours upon hours about it, is more of the right description), still she lies to him, because he’s Damon and telling him the truth would never be good for anyone, including herself.
Yet, she certainly wasn’t Katherine… she wasn’t going to promise Damon a future with her then change her mind. She wasn’t going to leave both of them behind for a few hundred years either because she knows that both of the Salvatore brothers have had enough suffering and she was tired, too tired to think of whom she wanted to be with, so she lies to him about the “do you really want to be with my brother even though you are having a romantic dinner in a tacky place like this with his brother, even though you know that the said brother is openly and admittedly in love with you, and actually you are like Katherine if you pick Stefan-poo. So is it really enough?” question, “It’s enough for me!” She cries with frustration, maybe trying to convince herself more than him, her annoyance creeps in as she thinks he may know it.
Their quick, safe, banter has turned into a heavy silence. She knows he’s going to call her on her bullshit but she doesn’t really think he can make her see, or she make him. She does love Stefan, in her own way. He sighs; she can see him processing the recent events in his head, the wolves, Caroline and her newfound vampirism, the funeral, Stefan’s confusion with his life’s choices...
“Is it? Normalcy, he cannot give you. Immortality he’s not going to give you, he won’t be there… when you get old and wrinkly” Damon scrunches up his own nose, thinking it would be strange to see Elena old, and he is not used to this image- his mind knows the eternal, youthful image of Katherine which somewhat merges with Elena’s. Not to say that he doesn’t think of them as separate people, he does, the images however, he can’t control. “You think he sees the difference between you two?” He means her and Katherine, “He looks at you and he sees a better Katherine” it was a low blow, and Damon was very aware of that but he was getting increasingly annoyed with her. Why couldn’t he make her see things the way he saw them?
“That’s not true”, she protests, her forehead creases in confusion. She hasn’t thought of it this way, of course, it annoys her how she wasn’t enough for anyone, but deep down she knew that was simply down to her new-found self-esteem issues and her general state of mind right now.
“He sees the ability to nurture you, to protect his little, fragile Elena. You’re basically a human version of a china doll.” He brings his drink to his lips and sips leisurely, “God forbid something happens to his precious Elena.” He spits out, making her send him a questioning glance, as she thinks that they are beginning to tread dangerous waters. In fact, both of them had been drinking and in her opinion, it would be a shame to end this evening with spiteful words (whether true or not, it doesn’t particularly matter) All Elena knows is that she is frustrated with him, with Stefan and moreover with herself. She sighs heavily, studying his face for a minute. Damon’s face is calm, complete with the usual I-know-more-than-you look, that doesn’t surprise her, and she finds herself thinking about the recent events.
“What and you? You want to peel the layers of and explore and corrupt me?” She raises her eyebrows, not quite angry yet. (She was about three quarters of a way there, and both of them know it)
“I don’t need to corrupt you.” His simple statement sends an unwelcome chill up her spine, she’s not sure that his control over her body is such a good thing. She had made up her mind about them, (at least she was about ninety nine point nine percent sure of this), and this whole he-can-make-me-melt-with-a-simple-sparkle-of-the-eyes was not working for her because she was getting annoyed with herself for feeling like this... all confused and her insides tingling because of his mere presence. She kind of resented herself, for liking Damon more than Stefan, for resenting Stefan because he’d picked Katherine or was basically about to, and because her stupid pride was screaming at her to let him go (Stefan) and be happy, but she couldn’t, then Katherine would win, and Elena really couldn’t have that.
Basically, she was resenting everyone and everything and the effect that Damon had on her was beginning to frustrate her and to make her lash out at the said people whom she actually resented. This whole thought process made her angry with Damon, “I’d rather be somebody’s china doll than a twisted experiment to pass the time”, She says coolly, collecting her belongings off the table in a hurry.
“Where are you going?” His annoyance is evident in his husky voice. It had been a few days before Damon began to get confused about her sudden mood swings around him, at first he’d thought she was on her period but he couldn’t smell any blood so she was a mystery to him, and humans weren’t supposed to be this hard to understand, yet Elena was reaching a new high.
“Away from you.” At these cold words both of them realise how good of friends they had become and at the same time it is evident how blown up this argument is going to be… neither knows how the argument became so big in their little twisted version of a friendship. The bitterness both parties feel had not completely left either’s body. But, at the end of the night he is left alone for the rest of the night, before he picks up a bubbly blonde at the bar. He takes comfort in the fact that she looks nothing like Katherine or Elena, at that moment he was free of all the drama around him.
As Elena makes her way home she contemplates turning around and going back in there, finally when she makes her mind up and pulls into the restaurant she watches as Damon pulls the blonde into his own car, her heart shutters, but she isn’t really that surprised.
~
It was a pointless, grey day, which had made Elena neither happy nor unhappy. The weather was very bleak, and so was her mood and the general atmosphere around her. There was one very big question looming over her head but she didn’t want to think. Actually all she wanted to do was put a little bit of slow, soul-searching music on and write until her wrist ached and her whole body numb from being in the same position for so long.
She weighs her options, - life, the death; moral, un-moral, purgatory, hell, heaven?
- Really she doesn’t know where to begin; finally she gets up and takes out a photo of all of them at “The Grill”. Both tower over her, nice and tall but she can’t begin to compare. Elena stands up and paces and paces and paces… the images flicker in her mind, her choices, and her decisions, mostly her past.
She had to choose between two brothers, one sweet, caring; the other dark, yet also caring but in an unopened, secretive, seductive way, which made her want to explore him. What irritates her most is that she viewed Damon as a map, in the way that she could imagine herself being able to travel and travel around these new exciting countries or parts of him and be able to find out more about him, however, she can’t decide whether this little city map she’s got with Stefan is the best thing she can have. One “map” was safe and familiar, the other… not so much. Then she finds that this metaphor she chose for them then was possibly the stupidest thing she could’ve chosen and she finds herself chuckling at these memories, but she approves her own thoughts because she knows she had been thinking and comparing them for almost too long, so it is not surprise, really that she may had been going slightly crazy.
Her thoughts kick-start again, Stefan was good, he always called when he said he’d call, he would hold her hand and coo sweet things into her ear. She’s safe with him, he’s safe. Damon was… different. He was intriguing, he’d call her in the most unexpected time, he’d tell her everything he was thinking only using his eyes. He’d look out for her and pick up the pieces when Stefan couldn’t, and though she doesn’t like to admit it, Stefan did leave her and disappointed her a lot more than the average person, like say, Damon. But of course, Stefan was the safe choice. The choice which was already taken, and that was why she had to have him.
“If you want to reveal something, you have to hide it properly first,” she thinks ironically, and maybe she was always a little bit too much like Katherine to let Stefan go.
~
The couple lie on the sofa in the boarding house, neither really knows how they got to this place but her head is in on lap, they’d been discussing her relationship with Stefan (her favourite topic), Damon is already on a short fuse before she decides to change the topic Katherine, (re-paying the favour really, she was most certainly his most favourite topic).
“Maybe she’s just misunderstood?!” ponders Elena, referring to Damon’s now ex-love of his love, and her most hated enemy.
“Maybe this, maybe that,” he mimics her with disgust evident in the creases of his face, bitterness lacing his voice. The daggers he shoots down at her makes her stop momentarily, which then allows him to continue his little epiphany, “the problem with you, Elena,” he begins, lazily drawing the words out. “Is that you always want to find a shred of good in us, you have to get a glimpse to reassure yourself that we’re still human” He reaches for his glass on the right of him and swallows yet another gulp of his whisky, finishing what seems like a bottle-worth with that glass. He waits until his words sink in, and she watches his face set into a statuette-like glare. His left hand unconsciously strokes her long straight hair.
“The problem with you Damon” she mocks his tone and glares in turn, shifting her head closer towards his torso, her features set eerily like that of Katherine’s- a mixture of pleasure and anger (only her pleasure is in the movements of his hand and anger at his words) “you try to re-assure yourself that you aren’t human, you’re this” her words come quickly, and she pauses for quarter of a second to think of the most suitable way to say it, “this eternal piece of rock, and nobody can chip away the edges because you’re Damon Salvatore” in her frustration she lifts her arms up to emphasize her point and huffs out loud, he finds it mildly amusing because her position is awkward and her huffing raises her chest which just makes him grin down at her, a suggestive look on his face as he begins slowly scratching at her skull.
“What’s the fun in that, you twisting my words” his Cheshire-like smile makes her fume; she feels as if she is about to erupt because she wants to hit him so badly, her arm is twitching, but her eyes still roll to the back of her head.
“There we go again; the armour is back into place; why can’t you accept that it isn’t simple enough to just turn it off!” She exclaims, referring to his humanity, her voice is a soft, furious whisper.
They sit like that for several minutes, but lost within their position it feels like hours. “It is off” He says, talking about his humanity but his face is set in such a content look, her eyes fly open instantaneously and she’s tearing herself away from their intimate moment.
“So this caring side, is just an act? It’s just a ploy to get under Stefan’s skin?” her timid voice questions his intentions and for once Damon has to think of the right response. Even if his ‘humanity’ is off her doe eyes boring into his own always make the switch automatically turn on. He couldn’t tell her that’s it was all her fault- she made him feel.
“Yes.” He affirms, and tries to tell himself the friendship he had built up with Stefan’s girlfriend who looked like his supposed love of his life is only a way to get to Stefan. He snaps out of his thoughts and smiles cruelly (just like Katherine taught him) at her, “And don’t you think I deserve an Oscar for the part?” He smiles boyishly and pats her head in a patronizing manner.
She nods and gets up, somewhat hurt that he won’t tell her the truth and also very much confused about why she wants to learn the real truth. (Or what she thinks is the real truth because Elena refuses to believe every smile, touch, every moment they have spent together is a lie. She refuses to.)
Over her shoulder she mutters quietly, and turns to face his sitting form “I believe nobody ever gave her a chance so she feels that she has to corrupt everything she has in her possession, because she‘s been left so many times she doesn‘t see the hurt seeping through her façade“ she pauses, and lets the words sink in, his expression is questioning as if he‘s already forgotten that they were, again, arguing about Stefan but more so about Katherine‘s humanity “- she’s oblivious to this, and maybe one day you’ll realise that you two are the same, and if you don’t hold onto that humanity you’ll become completely lifeless, and then I won’t be there to care anymore, Damon and then you truly will be alone.” Her words feel like a sharp stake punching through his heart over a hundred times, each time he feels it filling up his chest and then leaving his dead heart, until finally there really is a big gaping hole in this lifeless organ.
I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII