003; Shadows of her Broken Heart// Part VII
VII
- Dying
~
No matter how close you are to death, always remember you are still alive.
-Unknown
~
The loud gunshot cut through the thick, tense atmosphere of the drawing room.
They wake up separated, and the only thought on Elena’s mind is that “he has run away”. She doesn’t understand why he would break her in that way but Katherine explains later, before her last supper that “it was all part of the plan”. Elena doesn’t even question it.
See there were only four people in the drawing room that night: Matty, Stefan, Katherine and Elena. Mathew is somehow bound to his seat and Stefan is sitting there like a statue, she thinks a bit useless and frankly disappointing.
So when it comes to light that Mathew was to become court leader (basically the king for the kingdom) and Stefan was to marry Katherine (or some other ceremony equivalent to what Katherine said, Elena was sure just like everything else in this foreign country, marriage was quite different.)
It became apparent to everybody in that room that Elena was useless in this situation, she had obviously won over the court but because she was only a human they couldn’t appoint her or anything of that sort- prophecy or not.
And when the loud gunshot cut through the thick, tense atmosphere of the drawing room, nobody was really surprised. ‘Matty’ closed his eyes. Stefan stared ahead, and Katherine had the deadliest smile on her face.
“game over”.
~
The problem that she has always had is this: she is too much like Katherine in so many ways. To begin with she should’ve known to follow her heart and not get drawn into her stupid game.
“Forever is going to start tonight,” her tune is soft and sweet, so unlike the scrutinizing gaze boring into hers, or rather Elena’s familiar eyes. It should really send chills up her spine, the fact that Katherine has basically told Elena that she’s going to break her for the rest of eternity, or she’s going to turn her, or both. It doesn’t scare her though, it produces no feelings what so ever from her because her meaningless existence is that, meaningless for everyone and everything around her. Elena has given up on herself and frankly she was not going to play this little twisted game that Katherine gets off playing, she refuses to partake her part in some cleverly constructed play where Elena feels like a complete puppet, she’s breaking these bounds free either way, if by her force of determination to completely ignore this bitch’s game and just let her do whatever- at this point Elena would only care a little if she was drained dry and left in a ditch, there was only one prominent thought on her mind: nobody would care anyway.
This is a gift, but it comes with a price, she smiles cruelly, and bites into her neck, the sharp teeth tear into her pale skin and Katherine drains her until she’s lifeless.
Years later, she imagines she’ll still love him, the rain will be the same, the world probably wouldn’t change either, she’ll remember this gloomy night where only the rain and she are united, only her tears will be streaming down her pale skin and her heart dead cold. He just wasn’t near enough for her, she missed him in the midst of this mess, of her life, his shadows always lurking amongst her daily life, but it is too late. She realises it now, he may have meant everything to her, he may have been her whole world, and now he will never know it. She sits, her feet tucked underneath her shaking body, the soft noise of the piano keys can be heard faintly from her iPod. The scratching sound of the fire with the hesitant sound of the keys mingle and dance as one, her arms are hugging h torso of her upper body, the music slows down to an echo of the final note and as her eyes finally shut the fire burns out.
She’s his. She’s only ever been with him; she’s only been living for him, during this moment she realizes it, and she knows that she’s lost him forever.
She’s trying to string all of her, their memories, and make something out of their messed up relationship. She’ll rise up for him, she realises that now, he’s the only one, he’s the one for her, she’ll die, she’ll do anything in her power to keep him safe away from her; she’d do anything. It all ended with a letter, and it was signed with her name.
Just before you gulp your last living breath, there’s this moment of life, your last moment as your heart slows in your chest, and you feel it, that simple moment, like a tiny flicker of light from a burning candle, this moment which signifies your whole meaningless existence, your humanity. This moment was that moment, but once that moment is gone you drift into nothingness, until that flicker of the candlelight dulls from a dim flame to the last sparks of glowing red, until it finally completely goes out and your whole existence is wiped out from the rest of the world, your humanity, your life- all of it is gone, because so are you, you’re gone into sea of dead, lifeless faces which drift into a dark gaping hole, you drift into nothingness because you are nothing. You are dead.
~
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