last nite i just wrote some stuff about how im feeling. I don't know if it will make any sense, but yeh ( Read more... )

I really don't know what to do with myself. I feel like totaly crap, and i'm trying my hardest to hide how i feel, and put on a "happy" face when i'm around people. I really don't know how much longer i can do this for. I just want all of my thoughts, feelings, and whatever to go away. I don't want my family to think that i'm feeling "bad" again, ( Read more... )

I can't believe how upset i was last night..... i just can't belive how rude, selfish, i really don't know what others words to describe how hurtful he was to me. I HATE HIM SO MUCH... even thou i was trying to give him another chance from my childhood, when he wacked us and spoke to us like we were "NOTHING". I was sitting down talking to mum ( Read more... )

I'm finally up, i can't believe how much i have been sleeping. I can't believe the person i've actually become....i want to get away from myself, so that why i sleep and sleep.... but even doing that its scarey. Why have my nightmares come back??? i actually thought i was getting better. To of actually thought that i can't believe i did. I'm scared ( Read more... )

i really need to get out of the house!!!!! i can't belive how unmotivated i've become, i am seriously doing shit all during the day, part from watch tv or sleep. I don't know whats happening to me, i guess i'm falling apart more each day. I really want university to start again, but thats not until bluddy 26th Febuary.... and thats more then a ( Read more... )

I need to get out of the HOUSE!!!! i don't know how many times i've told myself that, but i just can't do it, i want to do it, cause its just making things worse. The rate i'm going now, everything is falling apart; i sleep 4 or more hours a day (thats bad), i sit in front of the t.v watching DVD's, and if someone in my family says something that ( Read more... )

Well.... Christmas, i'm so glad its 8.40pm and its over. We had christmas lunch with the family... and it was a disater, i left half way through it, cause i just kept getting yelled at just for trying to help my little brother try and play with the other boys, and not just sit by himself, cuz he is a bit shy, he doesn't like interecting with others ( Read more... )

Today has been a yuck day....I had to wake up early at 7.00am, and drink a litre of water, and hold it for 2.5hrs, cuz i had to go for an ultrasound of my ovaries and kidney's. OMG!! it was so hard to hold it, i nearly peed my pants... lol.... thank god we got to the place in time for the appt. I now i have to see a specialist about my ovaries, and ( Read more... )

Last nite when i decided to go up to my room, cuz i didn't really wanna stay up anymore listening to bad shit going on. I've never really tried to write poems before, well i don't really know if this is a poem, prob a bunch a crap, but i just wrote down a whole lot of stuff thats on my mind. I'll show ya what i wrote ( Read more... )

Finally my family has left to go somewhere, only to take my lil sis to her friends house thou, well my mum and other sis are working all day, so my lil bro went with my dad to take her. My family are all just totaly fuck heads (cuse the swearing). Far out, i just can't stand it. Its nearlly christmas, and all we are doing is fighting. As you all ( Read more... )