this sucks. this sucks alot. i dont think i want this. i dont think this is good. but i lost everything before. i made alot of mistakes in my life. more then most. and i geuss that is what was attended for me. but i geuss i kinda wonder what would of happend if i didnt do those things. didnt make those mistakes. would i be where i am now? would i ( Read more... )

he does the cutest little things that lets me know he cares. its adorable. im now sitting in class with kara. i feel quite odd. i dotn belong here in collage. but its kinda cool at the same time. im bored. im very confused on what i should do. what do i do. what should i choose. im not sure. but i know what i want so i geuss that has to do with ( Read more... )

omg hes right. both of them are right. i just never thought those words could hurt me so badly. i have never felt so much pain. im shaking and i cant stop. i should of listend to everyone. yet i was always the rebel type wasent i? i geuss i had to learn the hard way. and now i have to learn the hard way to walk away. i dont think im strong enough ( Read more... )

another weekend to update ourselfs on. friday me, ashtin, and carrie went to the micheals apartment and we all drunk alittle (yes on the same day i gave blood) and then we stayed the night there. and then saturday we went home. and hten later that night me and kara went to the y and picked up kevin z and his friend and went ot the football game and ( Read more... )

this weekend was a blast! friday i went to the football game and it was fun, even though i got ditched adn this is like the 100 time i got ditched by the same person. anyways i hung out with carrie and yeah. me and kevin randomly got offerd interveiws at abricrombie and yeah. then i went home and kara n charlie came n picked me up and i went back ( Read more... )

its like a continuous cycle over and over again. whens the cycel just going to end? when will i just be happy? with or without him.

you want ot know whats going on with me?? i love you. and nothing will chaneg that. i want to be with you. and only you. and nothing will change that. but i geuss you just dont get it do you?

THIS IS FOR BOTH ME AND ASHTIN ( Read more... )

i sit here in the dark with the music up. i close my eyes and just let my heart and sole wash away with the tunes. and all i do is think about you. the way you looked at me. the way you talked to me. what did i do wrong? is it so bad just to ask to be loved? i was soo close, but yet so far. please dont leave yet, let me change. let me show you im ( Read more... )

and yet. i still love him.