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i haven;t updated. im drunk, and i want to
i miss you. so much. part of me was being over-expectant (is that a word?) and thinking you'd hop on a bus and come home and surprise me tonight. but then again, i thought i was tuesday so now i'm all confused and don;t know what i was thinking ( Read more... ) -
true life.
i want to write something lengthy. it is much needed. i just don;t have the patience or the ability to focus right now to do so ( Read more... ) -
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sickness has rattled me yet again this week ( Read more... ) -
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i don't know exactly how or what i'm feeling right now.
indifference is kicking in and all i want to do is get high and spend time alone.
that would strain relationships, but i really don't care right now.
this weather is so gloomy. -
brittany, i need you.
fuck you for thinking i'm satisfied here
fuck you for not attempting to contact me
fuck you for not wanting to see me, but seeing everyone else on your trip(s) home
fuck you. all of you.
i am so angry
and on the verge of tears
and i feel like i might faint
i'm going to go be this "changed person" you all thought i became this summer
well, now you'll really ( Read more... ) -
disrupted sleep cycles
i just wrote a long post and then it deleted. im too angry/sad to try to reform my thoughts.
i just wish you were around at 3:38 am to talk to me, but you're either passed out, or too drunk and incoherent to be what i need right now. your attempt at conveying love just made me sad and eager to talk to you, which i wouldn't allow myself to do. i ( Read more... ) -
i'm bluer than the eyeshadow i'm wearing.
why is it these days i am so upset or angry or full of intense emotion. i'm not happy here, but where else could i go? and where else would change things? this is the only place i exist. im not a multi-faceted person. i'm limited to what i do, and who my friends are.
i feel stifled and all i want to do is reach out and escape.
all i want to do is ( Read more... ) -
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and i just found out JMJ's mom passed away. she had multiple myeloma.
it's bringing back a flood of emotions. i don't think i want to go to class today.