So it's 4 am and I'm awake. Really awake. So awake that I could get up right now and start getting ready for the day, which never occurs on a tuesday or thursday. I'm usually either rushing to 8 am class, or dozing in and out, attempting to take notes while there. I think I made it to towers for breakfast before this class once. Maybe this will be ( Read more... )

 she's not coming anymore.
my body is going haywire: pms and cramps and sweats and chills.
i feel stupid in my classes.
others i'm scared of not passing because of absence.
i just want to drink, but i don't like the sickness that comes with it.
i want to smoke, but i need to save my lungs to withstand my classes.
this room is never comfortable: too hot ( Read more... )

 so your father told you once
that you were his princess
you won’t see the castle
you cannot find your prince

so here you are in pieces
trying to prove to us it’s real
the softness of your smile
and the lies you want to feel
the scales beneath your skin
are showing off today
there’s evil in your heart
and it wants out to play

there’s evil in your heart
and it ( Read more... )

 i haven't updated in awhile. and there's so much i want to record but it would take too long to explain it all.

college is amazing. my friends here are so amazing. i care about them so much and i know they care about me. paige has got to be one of the most slinkster-cool (hello FLB!) person. plus, she's from cali. me and her smoke cigarettes out of ( Read more... )

 i'm listening to paramore's new album (they're streaming it on their myspace so i guess i don't feel too bad) and it's hitting me pretty hard. i don't really know why. it's a different sound for them, but i enjoy it. more-so than i did with riot. riot as a whole was disappointing, though i did enjoy many songs off the album. just, the collection ( Read more... )

 i don't even know how to describe this past weekend.

first weekend in college, and already so much has happened.
people have done things they are going to regret. friends and relationships have been warped and stretched, only to find themselves in a new place.

friday night involved OUR party in allston. apple smirnoff. james' birthday. free hotdogs. ( Read more... )

 i've been at college a week. i've met so many awesome people. mostly guy friends, couple girlfriends, potential boyfriend (!).  i need to talk to him. he's shy about that stuff i guess. haha. i've gone to parties, met my roommates and ra, and attended my classes. i'm enjoying this so much.

i'll post eventually......

 i'm moving into college tomorrow. i have barely talked or seen anyone from highschool in the past month. i am lonely and bored. i need to get out of here.

i really miss this place. i don't know what to say though. i never find the right things to write. i want to come back.

i was never addressed with the problem my alcohol and substance use posed
i was never addressed by you with how you were feeling
you strayed first, so i pulled back in an attempt to save my energy
i didn't forget you, but i guess you forgot
i found a new source of happiness
but this has brought me to a new low

i was never addressed with the problem ( Read more... )