i've gone through 3 livejournals after this one, and still i somehow come back to it. it's amazing what life does. i guess. today i remembered the magic four from forever ago, middle school. that quadruplet of friends always stands out in my mind. we were unstoppable with each other. somehow, after krysten left, it all fell apart. 8th grade was ( Read more... )

i'm bored of life, so i decided on a small change. no more of this journal. now i'm cotton_eyedJew.

i knew this would all slowly start up again. i have a small feeling this is only the beginning. damn, it's barely only been 5 weeks. oh well, at least i'm prepared for it.

cars are really sexy, and engines revving are even more sexy.

skott, however, is the sexiest of them all.

its good to know that when i'm down as i've been lately, and i'm not always smiling and laughing like usual, i've got him to cry on without having to worry that i'm a drag, or that i'm bringing him down. instead, despite my watermelon eyelids and ( Read more... )

tonight wasn't as bad as i expected. the day was pretty good, skott and i of course had fun doing the stupid idiotic things we did. be amazed- my dad let him drive the camaro to go pick up my sister. we ate cheeseburgers and stuff, it was great. my mom decided not to wait for ellen and fiona, or even me and skott. i don't blame her. anyways, the ( Read more... )

wow. my new layout is so totally mint and fit.

tarot cards read what we already know but are afraid to admit. i don't need paper squares to tell me how the back of my mind is frayed and broken. ripped apart by thoughts that have lingered. i breathe out what i've held in for so long, only to find that i lose my high that much quicker. but i'm a mushroom caterpiller, i breathe out words she doesn ( Read more... )

it's all a matter of opinion anymore. i don't think there is any truth, only fact and opinion and silly emotion. manipulation above all others. you know your world has gone to shit when any gesture seemingly made out of the kindness or guilt of ones heart, out of pure and utter consideration, is in reality made as part of a plot or disguise for an ( Read more... )

i woke up this morning feeling colder than usual. i can feel my knee again, but the day outside is so gloomy and down. half of me wants to be alone just to wallow in the past couple of days, they've been so heartbreaking and burdensome, i guess you could say. but that wouldn't help anything. they're solved as much as they can be solved, and what ( Read more... )

deadly patterns that start to fall in place, and i'm paralyzed with fear at the thought of losing you (again). i don't want to live perfection the way we did that moment, i don't want what could be the most wonderful thing to become so deteriorated, or worse, an expected chore. i want to be everything you want and need, everything you are to me, ( Read more... )